Suprisingly, Bradley Cooper Was Not Invited to Brad Guzan's Wedding

You know your nuptials were epic when there is a trailer for the wedding video. Congrats to Brad G. on his marriage but I think D.J. Countess still holds the crown for the Most Baller-Ass Wedding Video Ever By a Former MLS Goalkeeper™. But then again Brad is playing in the EPL and all right now so we'll call it a draw.


NSR: Chiddy Bang "Mind Your Manners"

This may end up being my summer rap anthem. You have to have a new one every summer, you see. If not there is virtually no way to time-stamp the drunken, sweaty capers that make the season so memorable. Except for photos on Facebook.

Although Chiddy Bang's recent mixtape wasn't all that and producer Xaphoon Jones' penchant for utilizing sped-up indie songs for hooks might get him pigeonholed as a nuevo College Dropout-era Kanye West, this track is just fun for fun's sake with a hook that's hard to hate. A sing-a-long head-nodder for ages 13 to 39.

Just a Reminder


Hate is a four-letter word and I shouldn't use it. I also shouldn't hold grudges as I'm attempting to be a grown up as of late. But Torsten Frings....breath SF. I guess if I got over Rafa being in MLS I can get over this guy. Maybe.

Best. Added. Time. Clock. Ever.


Q: Name another place outside of the soccer field where an extra four minutes can seem like an eternity and mean the difference between making someone scream in ecstasy or sending them home disappointed?

A: The bedroom.

This folks, is great marketing.

NY Times Running U.S. Soccer HR Dept. Apparently, Lining Up USMNT Coach Candidates


The gossip mill isn't even fully revved up yet but the NY Times Goal blog is already speculating as to who could replace Bob Bradley as USMNT boss. Amazing. Apparently we are shunning the traditional full week of post-Gold Cup "should he stay or should he go?" chatter before we move on to "____ is the leading candidate" talk.

I know some of the conspiracy theorists, doomsayers, and Bradley-bashers among us will read the line from Gulati (
“We’ll have something to say later this week") as foreshadowing or prophecy but to that I say "chill Winston."

Whether you think Bobby Blue Eyes has done a good job or not --personally I haven't agreed with all of his roster decisions but I think he's done the best he can with what he has-- it's kind of early and to talk about who could replace him when we don't even know he's gone yet.


This Cartoon Isn't the Greatest But Whatevs

"NASA found life on your planet, son. Girls made of beer who play soccer."

Debacle! FIFA12 Will Not Feature Every MLS Club

This is sure to bring out the pitchforks and torches from the FIFA faithful: this year's version of the finest footie game around will only feature a partial selection of MLS clubs. To say this is disappointing is an understatement; how else can Red Bull New York win the league if not for a prolonged campaign of late-night button mashing on my couch. For reals y'all, this is a straight-up outrage.

So anyone want to guess which MLS clubs will not be included in FIFA12 if this is true? I've no idea but I bet you LA, NY, Seattle, Vancouver, Portland and maybe RSL and SKC are in. After that it's a crapshoot.


Carles Outs Himself as Soccer Fan in Grantland


One should NEVER co-sign on an article they haven't read. So I won't co-sign on this article in Grantland from Carles of Hipster Runoff fame...but maybe read it anyway. Not because it's Carles and his sh*ts always bratty and funny but because maybe if a soccer piece gets good traffic on Grantland they might actually feature it from time to time.

NSR: Washed Out "Amor Fati"

Ernest Greene's Washed Out are back to reclaim the Kings of Blissful, Tripped Out Summer Sounds crown that they wore so well in 2009 during the height of chillwave mania. Check out new track "Amor Fati", one of the standout from new album Within and Without, which can be listened to in its entirety at EMTheories (or downloaded from some sketchy site in Russia). Enjoy.

Demitrius Omphroy Drops Anthem for the Facebook Generation

Since he hasn’t seen much time on the field —which is shocking because the way Toronto is playing right now you would think they’d be looking to try anything and anyone at this point— tattooed rookie winger/defender Demitrius Omprhoy is keeping busy in T.Dot with off-the-field pursuits. Pursuits such as dropping guest verses on pop music pearls aimed at 12 - 25 year-olds like the social media-meets-autotune pileup that is “Facebook Chat.”

Surely some of y’all are going to howl once you hear this but bear in mind this is pop music...and pop music is for the children. You may think this is juvenile, which it is to a degree, but it’s supposed to be. So if you're over the age of 25 and you don’t hate this song you are basically deep in the throws of a Wooderson-like quarter life-crisis.

Skills-Show: Volume 51

I got nothin' so here's a random mixtape. Happy Monday everybody.


Living in the Red: A Section 8 Documentary

Chicago's finest fans get their 15 minutes of fame --seriously, this clip is 15 minutes long-- courtesy of DePaul University film students Marlin Kolev, Ethan Faure and Heather Eidson. Good stuff. Always good to see the SG's get some shine.

USMNT x Justice

Y'all know what time it is. Gameday...get hyped!


NSR: The Naked & Famous "Young Blood"

Passion Pit: now available in "from New Zealand" flavor.

You Know You are a Baller If...

You know you are a baller if you give interviews on a golf course and you are not a player in the PGA. Check out The Don getting all Big Willy and talking expansion, the D.C. stadium saga and various other messageboardy topics in between working on his short game. Play on boss.

Roger Levesque Goes Overboard Against RBNY

Get Microsoft Silverlight

You see Roger Levesque's dive last night? Not dive like in Charlie Davies "dive" but more like "dive" in Steve Zizzou way. Surely the best celebration of the year so far and damn near Clint Dempsey-like. Now if only he could play like Clint.


Chivas El Paso Patriots: The Borderland's Safest Soccer

Totally forgot the Chivas empire has an El Paso outpost in the form of Chivas El Paso Patriots. An unwieldy name for sure but not a bad promo video. I do wonder who goes to see a PDL team when you have a Mexican sometime-1st Division side Indios just across the river. People who don't want to be macheted to death and have their body parts placed around town like some kind of twisted scavenger hunt I reckon.

Today in Celebrity Glory-Seeking, Pt. 2: Return to New York


So last night there was an afterparty in NYC for Steve Nash's Showdown in Chinatown. To my pleasure and surprise, 30 Rock's Judah Friedlander was there and talking soccer. Dude was all high on the Freddy Adu pass and Tim Howard's general badassness but thought overall the Yanks played poorly. Swear to God if he ever gets sick of comedy he could crush it as an in-house blogger on BigSoccer.

Then I had the strangest moment of my life: Claudio Reyna comes over and gives Friedlander a high-five while Penny Marshall is saying 'Excuse me' before making her way past Giuseppe Rossi. In the background a Michael Jackson track played courtesy of Q-Tip, who was DJing.

Strange but true. This is why I love New York City.

Today In Celebrity Glory-Seeking: Hugh Jackman

So yeah, Hugh Jackman was rocking with the S.O.B's in the River End last night. Depending on what kind of movies you like this was either the hottest thing to hit Chester since The Cat Daddy or the worst thing to hit Chester since Kreayshawn's single dropped. Either way this waaaaaay better than Australia.


Happy Anniversary, Diego Maradona

What do you celebrate 25 years of infamy with? Champagne? Narcotics? Dictators? There are just so many options.


Showdown in Chinatown Returns Tomorrow

It's that time of year again. The time when the giraffes from the NBA do battle against the best soccer players Vancouver Whitecaps co-owner Steve Nash --which is how he will be referred to from now on-- can muster in a park below Houston St. in NYC. The Showdown in Chinatown is tomorrow and as per usual I'm gonna be all up in it like Bennett.

Past years have featured footie and roundball greats such as Soloman Kalou, Baron Davis, Javier Zanetti, Edgar Davids, Thierry Henry, Steve McManama and Jason Kidd. Who's playing this year? See the list below and I'll see you tomorrow.

Soccer ballers
  • Patrick Vieira (World Cup winner, France)
  • Demba Ba (England’s West Ham)
  • Youri Djorkaef (France World Cup winner)
  • Giuseppe Rossi (Spain’s Villarreal)
  • Claudio Reyna (Former USA World Cup team captain)
  • Simone Sandri (Former Novara Calcio)
  • Richie Williams (MLS, DC United, US National Team)
  • John Nash (Steve’s father, former Highlands Park FC)
  • Martin Nash (Former Vancouver Whitecaps FC)

Round ballers
  • Steve Nash (Phoenix Suns)
  • Tony Parker (San Antonio Spurs)
  • Grant Hill (Phoenix Suns)
  • Brandon Jennings (Milwaukee Bucks)
  • Jared Dudley (Phoenix Suns)
  • Marcin Gortat (Phoenix Suns)
  • Leandro Barbosa (Toronto Raptors)

NSR: SBTRKT "Trials of the Past"

The debut full-length from SBTRKT comes out on June 28th. If you haven't heard it head over to the Hype Machine and get your head nodding. But only if you can deal with the fact that he let Drake remix "Wildfire" and his insistence on wearing Jamiroquai-gone-tribal masks.

Viva Futbol #73

50? Really? Ugh. I love you Alarazboy but I think you just jumped the shark here cousin.

Video: Total Skills Volume 44

Younger readers may not be aware of this but at one point and time Busta Rhymes was a highly acclaimed rapper. Mind you the song featured in this clip is in no way proof of that, but I just thought you should know.

Red Bull Arena Gets a Man Cave

I love me some Red Bull Arena, I really do. No one tops it for the in-game experience. But having just spent a week nursing at the warm, tricked-out teat of LIVESTRONG Sporting Park I now notice that there is a lot of unused space at RBA. Or enough of it to build a Man Cave of DIY tv at least.

Also, Teddy Schneider is tiny. I honestly think that him, Dane Richards and Luke Rodgers bring down the team height average by 6 inches.



My former work wife and author of the upcoming (and allegedly controversial) memoir/design for life Record Collecting for Girls put me on to this new clip from CHLLNGR today. The visuals are beautifully creepy while the track boasts some seriously The Chronic-esque keys and a haunting, implied-dub bass line.

This could be the soundtrack to True Blood-like Halloween sex if we were all refined enough not to dress like a sexxxy nurse/pirate/cop/insurance adjuster on October 31st. But we're not. And this is why we can't have nice things.

Seattle Supporters in Jeopardy (the Show, not the Condition)

What's more amazing here: the fact that an MLS supporters group was an answer on Jeopardy or the fact that a guy that looks like an extra from The Young Ones actually knew the answer? My how MLS has changed.

There is a Gang of Ball Talk Going on in This Clip (and Not a Jabulani in Sight)

Jed Zayner says "balls" on TV, Thomas Rongen grows concerned about said "balls." Kinda nutty, right?

The Free TT Movement: Because Someone Has To, Right?


I'm not saying he should be freed --I mean he did hit a dude in the back of the head-- but I just love "Free Person X" movements. They never work but they're always so precious and spawn great t-shirts and stickers. So make yours today!


NSR: Breakbot "Fantasy"

You have to love the French. No one does nostalgic, lustful innocence better.

Holy 90's, Virtual Reality Is Back!

I'm not an XBOX guy but if Kinect can do this I'm pretty impressed. Still, a real-life mini ball is actually cheaper and infinitely less dorky so I'll probably stick with that because this just screams Norman Nomates.

A Better Life Trailer

Above is the trailer for A Better Life, a hotly-tipped new film about an LA gardener who's a single dad trying to improve his station in life and keep his son out of the Southland's gang scene. Not that I'm a Latino gardener living in SoCal but as father to a young son living in a f***ed up neighborhood --while I was away for work last week there were 2 shootings within blocks of our home-- I can relate to this on some level.

All that aside, there is a soccer hook here. Watch the trailer closely and you'll notice that the son is something of a Chivas USA diehard. Kid has a Goats poster on his bedroom door and a blanket on his bed. There's also a scene that sees the son being dropped off what appears to be the Home Depot Center. Looks like the Galaxy aren't the only ones who can go Hollywood on occasion.


Tattoo Talk with Jermaine Jones

German Jermaine Jones gives us the rundown on all the ink running down his body. I'm enjoying this series from U.S. Soccer. Maybe I'm weird but I enjoy this far more than training videos and pre and post-match clips stocked with generic quotes. Fun stuff.


VIDEO: Marcus of the Midlands

Here we find USMNT keeper Marcus H. playing the role of country gentleman on his ancient English estate filled with cattle, chickens, a good dog and a garage (pronounced: "gar-ridge") full of high-end bicycles. Dude seems like something of a ruralist. I can dig that. A couple more years of living like this and he'll be saying "get orf moi land" with the best of 'em.


Timbers x Alaska Airlines Commercial

I will never complain about my airline's customer service again.

Remember Rochester?


I wish someone would do a documentary on the rise & fall of the Rochester Rhinos. 7 or 8 years ago they were the darlings of the U.S. second division with a U.S. Open Cup title to their name, outdrawing a few MLS teams at the gate and getting a SSS at a time when few big-league clubs had one. It seemed like only a matter of time before they got the call to join the promised land of America's first division.

And then the dream got blowedthehellup. Ownership issues, a decline in attendance, the USL-NASL debacle and so much more leave the club in a place where joining MLS now sounds damn-near like crazytalk.

It's not the film that I want but this piece outlines the saga --including quotes from The Don and details of secret meetings with Uncle Lamar about moving the then-Wizards to town-- as well as I've seen. Great Sunday reading.

Eric Hassli is The Baddest Man in MLS, Today™

Chipping the keeper on a PK then dropping this wonder bomb on him late in the game? Ooowee! This is how you show up and show out in a "derby." Eric Hassli, you are The Baddest Man in MLS, Today™.


Baby Bradley's Birmingham

Here we find bald Baby Bradley in the city of Birmingham, England and sharing his wisdom on how to relocate successfully to a new club. Personally, the first thing I would do if I were a young, single international athlete is locate the newest American embassy. Partially because you can't be too careful these days but also because there are always cute chicks with government jobs there*.

*Is it weird that I think skirt-suits are hot?


NSR: The Rapture "How Deep is Your Love"

The Rapture are back (finally!) with 7+ minutes of disco heat. Summer can officially begin now. H/T to FFSS from EMTheories for bringing it to my attention.

Seth Stammler Returns to NYC...and I'm in KC

I'm in Kansas City and enjoying it immensely. Nice people, great BBQ and an awe-inspiring stadium. Plus, you can buy a beer in bar for $2 instead of $8. A fellow could get used to this.

I am bummed out though that I will not be in New York tonight for Seth Stammler's return. I always thought he was underrated in this league and he's probably my all-time favorite RBNY player. Dude wasn't flashy but he was versatile and gutsy. And he only needed one shoe.

Photo of the Day: Henry Holds Power Lunch with Swizz Beats


I showed this picture of Thierry Henry and Swizz Beats having lunch at Cipriani yesterday to my girl Jackie Pickering and she said "I wonder who had dibs on the red hat?" These are life's big questions America.


Long Live LIVESTRONG Sporting Park


So I spent a good part of yesterday at the new park in Kansas City and the place is a palace. So in the interest of sacking up and stating that I was wrong, wrong, wrong I hereby rescind my previous statement re: LIVESTRONG's place in my personal SSS pecking order. For me this place is in a dead heat with RBA for the number one spot. Can't wait to see what it's like tonight with a crowd inside.

Bumpy Pitch x Nike x USMNT


In what has to be the most awesomely-unholy union in the history of soccer shirts, them boys at Bumpy Pitch have teamed up with Nike for a new USMNT-themed tee. If you don't cop this now you will regret it later.

And I'm not just talking to my dudes here, ladies you can rock this as well and let all of your disgraced beauty queen fantasies flow forth from the sash. To quote DFA 1979, "come on now girls I know you know what you want."


A Supportive Saturday

A bit fan-flavor from U.S. v. Spain. Wait come back!

Agudelo x Cooper x Beckham x adidas

Them boys are all in and I like it. And is that a new Justice track I hear?

Meanwhile in Queens...


While most of the American soccersphere was focused on a football stadium in Detroit Rock City last night, 39,000 + made their way to a baseball stadium in Queens to watch soccer. Only in America y'all.

Citi Field, home of the NY Mets, made its soccer debut last night when Greece met Ecuador in a 1-1 draw. It's almost always awkward when a soccer pitch is placed over a baseball diamond but this wasn't too bad. Or at least it wasn't as bad as what the Wizards had to deal with in CommunityAmerica Ballpark. Get used to seeing it though as you're going to see soccer at Citi again very soon.


Teal Bunbury Is Keeping It GQ in K.C.


When I grow up I want to be Teal Bunbury-in-a-KC-Magazine-fashion-feature smooth. Not to be weird or anything but this is how a grown man should dress. Partially because you look mature and refined but also because no matter what kind of girls you like women love it when you dress in clothes that display a sense of true style and swagger*...not clothes that display the back of your underwear-clad ass.

*I'm talking real, Webster's Dictionary swagger i.e. confidence. Not that ol' "I got bottle service in the club but still live with my momma" faux baller-sh*t.

Yanks Begin Gold Cup March to Glory/Death March to Date with Chicharito Tonight

Y'all hyped? Tim Howard is so you should be as well. Go go USA!

Jonathan Spector: International Transfer

I graduated high school in dusty, flat Amarillo, TX, a place far removed from the bayous of southern Louisiana and the wooded, lake-filled north Texas that I grew up in. You know why? Because my old man was transferred at his job. I don't resent having to move but it did change my life in both positive and negative ways. I wonder if footballer's kids feel the same way when their Dad gets transferred.

UPDATE: They don't resent sh*t, their dads are rich.

Guy That's Always in Meg Ryan's Movies Has Seen The Damned United


One of the drag queens from Bosom Buddies has spoken out about the coaching situation in Aston Villa and has made a surprising endorsement. His suggestion? Brian Clough. Really.

Punks Jump Up to Get Beatdown: Journalists v. Players Edition


Yes, there is a rainbow in the picture. Those things are pretty and happy, right? But there's also a UN truck on the touchline and I can't figure that's a good thing because, let's be honest here, the UN is only called in when things have gotten way too real.

But if the latest news out of Liberia is to believed, that truck might be there for the purpose of keeping players from issuing beatdowns to reporters who portray them in less than flattering lights. Who knew former MLSers Francis "Grandpa" Doe and Luis Crayton were living the thug life?

[H/T to IMS]


Just Because: Sporting KC Video

Nice clip. Props to the director for not going with the obvious soundtrack of Ozzy Osbourne's "Mama I'm Coming Home." Because that's exactly what I would have done.

NSR: Gallows

You may be shocked to know this but I have a soft spot for Gallows. Don't know why but maybe because their brand of Brit-punk is artsy/glossy enough to let my 30-something Dad-ass pretend that I can still appreciate hardcore even though I couldn't make it through a Rorschach or Heroin or ____ album right now for all the gear in the Red Bull Arena gift shop. But aging-issues and psychoanalysis aside, this song just makes me want to skate again.

Game Day in the U.K. With Stuart Holden

I love it when our Stuart talks like a Scotsman. It's like he's bilingual but without all the hassle of having to learn new words for things that you already know what they are. I also love that Zat Knight is f***ing with all of us Fulham fans with a claim that he's coming to America. Too bad he'll be 34 then; retire in Florida cousin, not in MLS.


Spain Gets Revenge +2 for Confederations Cup Loss


Well that hurt. Not lost-by-5-to-Mexico hurt but painful nonetheless. If anything good can come out of the loss to Spain it's that maybe, just maybe, the Yanks will be in full-on face-saving mode come Tuesday night and pass the lesson they just learned from Spain on to Canada.

Other than that there isn't much (nice) to say. Bring on the Canuckistanis.


Video: Total Skills Volume 43

A lil funk & footwork for your Friday afternoon. Something to make you shake your ass like Jozy shook Capdevila in '09.

Clint Dempsey is Ready for His Close Up

This video is entitled "An American Midfielder in London." Is it better than "An American Werewolf in London?" Probably. Is it better than "An Englishman in New York?" Obvi. I mean seriously, this is Deuce we're talking about.

So here's a clip of Mark Hughes, Martin Tyler, Danny Murphy and various Fulham fans are co-signing today on the undeniable dopeness that is Clint Dempsey. Quality profile of a quality player that I will never make a joke about because he could definitely kick my ass.

NSR: About That New Coldplay Song

Apparently Viva La Vida wasn't a one-off and it looks like Brian Eno is now 100% down with producing songs whose potential for fist pump-house remixes is as high as his fee for going into the studio. I do enjoy upbeat, happy people music but I think Eno's best when he or the artist he's producing is being all maudlin, moody and mildy experimental.

Mind you it would be ridiculous for me to expect the jumpoff for a new Coldplay album to be another Music for Aiports. So long as it's not as bland In My Place or Yellow I think I'm fine with it.

Apparently It Was Retro-Movie Tifo Night at Gillette Last Weekend

"I ain't afraid of no Bruce."

New Blog on the Block: KCKRS


If you're someone who frequents this blog or my brothers from another mother at The Original Winger you should check out KCKRS. They've just launched but seem to have a comparable taste and a similar sense of humor. It's a good time. Book mark it today...or the forward gets it.


Life in the Loan Star State with Baby Bradley

If the papers are to be believed this video, which was released today, is already outdated. Damn you speedy news cycle.

Beckham Stays Up Late to Confesses to Dandyism, Being Slow and Thinking About Getting His Bits & Pieces Tattooed

11+ minutes of an Englishman and Scot having a laugh without aid of drink.

Run-DMB To Bring That Ice to Miami


Don’t get it twisted, that’s not a promotional photo from the Jodeci reunion tour. It’s our DaMarcus and his partner Mo pushing Beas’ diamond line, the DaMarcus Collection which is apparently making its stateside debut in Miami on June 18th. So if your lady is sweating you to put the rock on her or if you’re just trying to tighten up your ice game a little you should buy from Run-DMB (because Zales just doesn’t cut it).


Kansas City, I'm Coming For You


Just booked my flight to KCK for a double-dip at LIVESTRONG Sporting Park: the Sporting KC v. Chicago Fire match to open the building on June 9th and the USMNT's Gold Cup match v. Guadalupe on June 14th. If you are going to be in the area shout me a holler because I need some proper BBQ. Can't. Wait.

BTW if you're feeling the poster above you can download a full-sized version of it on SKC's Facebook page. A framed version of it might make a nice addition to your soccer tchotchke collection or man-cave wall.

Run-DMB Runs South of The Border


According to the Steven Goff, our DaMarcus is in Mexico meeting with Pachuca. I'm not him and I'm not a player but if the numbers in Goff's piece are to be believed I kinda think I'd stay in Germany and collect my check or come home and play for less money before I'd go to Mexico.

Pachuca's a fine club, my favorite in Mexico if I have one, but something about that league as a whole just seems like the DMZ between playing domestically and playing abroad. Feel like I would do one or the other if it was me...but it's not so maybe I should STFU.

Still it would be cool to see the Tuzos become PachucAmerica with the Pitch-Peeing Prince™, Jose Torres and Herculez Gomez on the books. True, rumor has Herc leaving there soon but we can dream of a Yank-led power wrecking shop in Mexico, right? I mean if the USMNT can't get a win down there maybe some of our alumni can.

NSR: New Chiddy Bang Mixtape

Chiddy Bang have dropped a new, "Swelly"-themed mixtape over at Illroots that may be the best thing to come out of Philly since the Carlos Ruiz wondergoal goal from a few weeks back. If you like your rap happy, clean-ish and peppered with liberal amounts of indie hooks I suggest copping this now. This is summer music y'all, something poppy you can sweat to with a smile on your face. Don't sleep.

Bonus: "Manners" is going to be big with the kids. Sebastian Le Toux's nose-big.

UPDATE: Upon a 3rd, headphoned listen this is by far the whackest of the "Swelly" mixtapes; too many sub-par hooks and less witty, more ignorant lyrics. It's not really that vulgar by contemporary hip-hop standards but for CB it's a disappointing step back.

I'm sure if you've read TOR for any length of time that sounds funny being that I've been known to "work blue" on occasion but I just can't stomach the n-bombs and "hos." Think I might officially be on some Bill Cosby sh*t now when it comes to hip-hop. Somebody get me a sweater.

On The Couch with Tim Howard

(in Run-DMC voice) Whose house?! Tim's house!!!!

Hoboken is the Manhattan Beach of the East Coast


If there is a Red Bull New York ghetto, Hoboken, NJ is it. The city that is notorious for an inordinate amount of colorless bars, post-college frat boys and hot-yet-bland future trophy wives is also home to Tim Ream, Austin da Luz, Carl Robinson, Juan Agudelo, Matt Kassel and Hans Backe*. Read all about their lives in "the Mile Square" and sympathize with Backe as he laments the city's lack of a proper badminton pitch in the latest issue of H-Mag.

*Full disclosure: I'm a former Jersey City resident and Hoboken is to JC what Seattle is to Portland. It's not better or worse, just different.

DateASounder.com: It's a Real Thing (Sort of)


Ladies of Seattle, do you fancy a bit of futbol-financed flesh in your life? If so may I suggest you visit DateASounder.com. There you will find video dating profiles for Puget Sound's most eligible, soccer-capable bachelors like Roger (pictured above) who hails from "Portland but not that Portland" and lists his hobbies as "chopping down trees". Go to town ladies.