2.25.2011

A RAMBLE ON THE NEW NEW YORK COSMOS

Cosmos

So I'm going to break my radio silence on this Cosmos thing today because I am now intrigued by the schism that has developed between soccer fans and MLS fans when it comes to the self-proclaimed "Kings of New York."

As I've watched each announcement and event come and go over the past few months I've been struck by how, with the exception of a party at the Times Square Planet Hollywood (shudder), tasteful and stylish everything has been. Everything from the names associated with the project to the merchandising have been pretty cotdamn sexy and I love it. But since there's no team, stadium or even league associated with the revival yet that may be the problem for some: all style, no substance.

As I read Tweets from and/or about the Cosmos 2011 Spring Collection launch party last night I was struck by how different the reaction to the event was. People I follow who are soccer fans but not really MLS fans loved the event and seemed to be enjoying an evening of free booze, food and soccer talk with like-minded people. On the other hand the tweets from people I follow who are known MLS aficionados such as myself where pretty much just condescending; I certainly see the knock on the organization not having a team or a league but apparently skinny jeans are a really bad thing because (dunh dunh dunnnnnnh!) hipsters wear them.

And I think there lies the root of the schism, the word 'hipster' and its seemingly-solid grip on the new Cosmos brand.

See the thing is 'hipster' is like the N-word of the middle-class; depending on who you are it is either a positive & negative. I'm certainly not placing the same yolk of history or hatred on the former that the latter holds. Nor do I condone the use of the latter. But you can't deny that while some people see Chloe Sevigny and think "check out that cute hipster girl" others say "look at that f*cking hipster."

I may be past my prime, overweight, church-going and married with children but I do know quite a lot about the hipster as I spent a lot of time in their native habitat, the L.E.S, during my former life in the music industry.

You know why people hate them? Because they live & look like rockstars without having a single gold record or Oscar nomination to their name. We don't mind when Russell Brand or Kings of Leon dress fashionable, sleep with models or drink Jack Daniels with every meal. But when Tim from Accounts Receivable does it we can't stand that sh*t. And you know what? It's uncalled for...let a player play.

But the other side of the game is this: don't tell me how you're Arsenal through & through, been to the last 2 World Cups for "a photography project" and play every Thursday night at Chelsea Piers but can't be bothered to get on the train for 20 minutes to go see Dane Richards run game on a slow-ass left back. Don't. And for the love of God don't you dare have the audacity to do it while dressed like a guest on the Alexa Chung show (R.I.P.).

I don't know what else to say about it. I've probably rambled far too long about this already so maybe that's a good thing. But in short this sh*t is ridiculous and will hopefully stop sometime soon. MLS fans: be cool, let the 'hipsters' live. Hipsters: quit talking about soccer, support American soccer.

42 comments:

Joshua said...

Cheers

Clayton John said...

couldn't have said it better myself bro

Wolfie said...

Best.Post.Ever.

BlacknBlueKC said...

Can I get an AMEN! and a HELL YEA!

Papa suede said...

wait are you saying that skinny jeans are no longer cool. Oh MAN... I just brought a pair to wear while driving the kids in the mini van to their games. I'm a cool dad!

SF said...

I have no beef with skinny jeans. If I were skinny I would rock them, as baggy isn't always the best look for a grown ass man.

GeoffieTheKid said...

"But the other side of the game is this: don't tell me how you're Arsenal through & through, been to the last 2 World Cups for "a photography project" and play every Thursday night at Chelsea Piers but can't be bothered to get on the train for 20 minutes to go see Dane Richards run game on a slow-ass left back."

CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!!!!!!!!

Paula said...

"But when Tim from Accounts Receivable does it we can't stand that sh*t. And you know what? It's uncalled for...let a player play."

Nice insight. Though FWIW if Tim from Accounts can do it, so can everyone else (provided you have no kids or other dependents).

SunnysideFC said...

Well done. I'm a Queens guy. I'm a fan of the Cosmos project. And a fan of the Red Bulls.

brucio said...

I was invited to that party but since I live in Minneapolis there was no way I was going.
So I offered my spot on the guest list to a Friend-In-Football from New York, and he replied "I'm a big RBNY supporter, so that party might turn my stomach."
I laughed very hard at that reply!
But SF is right, can't we all just get along?
And by get along I mean get on the MLS band wagon in a big way!!!!!

RM said...

What the hell is with Tim in Marketing anyway?

G.U.I.N.D.O.N. said...

Cool post.
And thanks for coming back at the good ol' lower-case...

pwvofqns said...

most people who stay away from the rb don't feel any sort of personal connection to the team they've never made themselves relevant out here, there is nothing local about them. ive never seen them in west queens or south brooklyn where its at least an hour thirty to even get into jersey. tsk tsk and putting a set of supporters together as hipsters? come on son' most of the cosmos supporters are local working ppl from queens or from the bk out-skirts. soccer as a sport fights to be relevant to the public on a daily-weekly man. im glad the moes' are here getting the attention they do and even if they aren't the next city team. one thing is for sure there will be ONE team IN ny soon. cant wait.

Anonymous said...

I live in South Brooklyn. The Red Bulls did plenty to make themselves relevant to me that I make the trip via the R down to Cortland Street, then the PATH train to Harrison. They had billboards on the Gowanus Expressway, ads on Hot 97, another huge billboard at the BQE/LIE interchange over by LIC right over the Kosciuszko bridge. JPA and Stammler did their gig with Clinton in Harlem last summer. At the end of the day, I'm cool if the Cosmos end up joining the MLS, the more the merrier. I look forward to an actual Derby in MLS outside of the Chivas/LAG. I just don't get the people who have a problem with public transpo commute to RBA. What makes you think it's going to be any shorter for the people coming from South Brooklyn to head out to Willets Point?

Nonetheless, great article.

Seeing Red NY said...

The ironic part in all this is that Red Bull (not RBNY) is the global master of defining a "lifestyle brand" built around a product.

Sadly, RBNY hasn't been able (perhaps due to RB marketing rules & regs) to plug into that brand in a meaningful way in NY.

Anonymous said...

I would be pumped if it only took me an hour-thirty to get to an MLS game.

Thanks for the post SF.

pwvofqns said...

in ny an hour thirty is a lifetime.

Nicole said...

oh, please.

An hour thirty is an ahour thirty.

Get over yourself.

adikus said...

real talk.

but can a playa play if he's a hipster, loves the MLS, hates FIFA but loves the world's game??

on second thought, what am I thinking, hipsters doesnt' give a shhh...

Anonymous said...

Great post... just had to say that. peace.

Dill said...

I am what most people would call a hipster and I am Red Bull through and through. There are a couple others like me too, who take the L to Path to see the Bulls. If I meet kids who are getting into the Cosmos though, I will talk shit to them.

Martha Focker said...

New York Cosmos. Woo Hoo!!!!Ya Baby

FARTBURGER said...

I can't stand this cosmos thing. No team. No proposal for getting into the league. They've stolen one of my idols in Cantona. And they've given an excuse to a bunch of people who say they really care about and love the game, a reason to keep sitting on their asses; instead of actually coming to a game.

Cash IBC said...

Great peice, nothings worse than these eurosnobs who refuse to support their local club. This talk about how the MLS just isn't on par with the rest of the world is BS. The play is getting better every year, and the league is only 15 years old.
As far as Cosmo's go, like others said, you have no players, no place to play, no league. Come March 19th I'll be in the South Ward supporting my RBNY, where will Cosmo fans be??

Anonymous said...

cause harrison nj is so local.

Alan said...

Yeah, they look pretty hipster. Soon they'll be selling dark rimmed Cosmos glasses!

Dan Martin said...

Nice post. Go Red Bulls! Go Cosmos!

Cindy said...

stop crying about the commute, i come from Long Island, so Brooklynites can't say anything, you're commute isn't that bad. even mine isn't that bad. nice piece SF.

Patty C said...

i hate this ny cosmos things, if you trully love soccer, you want to see live soccer anyway you can, watching the beautiful game on tv just does not do it justice, hipsters only support it because it is ironic, get out and support your loall team eurosnobs.

Also, i commute from upstate ny to the games, takes about an hour thirty, i can't get drunk at before or during the game.

Alsom 20 days until the 2011 MLS season!

@ShaneWilliam said...

Hipsters love all this Cosmos stuff, because it's still sort of "underground." If they do actually get a team, none of these hipsters will actually go to the games. They'll find something else that is sort of "underground" to follow. It's the way of the hipster.

Anonymous said...

I share 4 season tix to RBNY with 3 girls. Two of them drive from bumfuck connecticut 2 hours each way.And with the friends, and sunshine, and beer, the beautiful grace, and the live soccer I totally understand why. Whether I'm at RBA, PPL, or where ever, I support my league, MLS.

pwvofqns said...

just like there are yankees there always be mets. just like there are red bulls there will always be people who wont support them for various reasons because their against the fact their called red bull or the distance or THE REASON THAT THEY DONT FEEL A CONNECTION TO THE TEAM or the fact they arent in ny whatever the reason is REDBULLsnobs get over yourselves not everyone is gonna like your team. i'll just go on supporting the brooklyn knights at the oval. and whether is the cosmos or not come 2014'ish there will be two teams in the area but ONE team in NY and people will be people who will support it. cant wait.

[i dont get why is such opposition against another team in ny there is no good reason why there shouldn't be.]

Anonymous said...

Nothing says tasteful and stylish like hiring certifiable lunatic Eric Cantona to do a job he's not qualified for.

Anonymous said...

nothing says football like austrian energy drink it also says marketing scheme.

Anonymous said...

I don't give an EFF abotu hipsters. This watered down marketing gimmick will ruin the once great Cosmos legacy

sevsix said...

fuck a legacy most people just want a team. if it were up to legacy san jose earthquakes would be a huge club as would LI Rough Riders, Rochester, NY Parcip Freedoms, Fall River, Bethlehem Steel ect. ect. Please dont feed me that legacy bullshit that was 40 years ago i dont want a legacy i want a club in NY. plain and simple. I swear if this was any other team like the NY Athletic Club from the 5th div. no one would give a shit but god forbid someone starts making moves that are catch some mainstream attn. and RBsnobs start pissing blood. stop the crying and enjoy that the sport as a whole is getting some shine. EVERY TIME A PAPER OR FEATURE ON THE MOES' IS DONE ITS HIGHLIGHTED THAT THEY WANT TO JOIN THE THE M L S. there is no good reason why there shouldn't be another team in ny.

Anonymous said...

"You know why people hate them? Because they live & look like rockstars..."

I love you, man, but seriously???!....I LOL'ed.

coachie ballgames said...

Born in Queens, raised in Manhattan, I moved to L.A. just before RBA opened. Before then, I went to a few M'Stars/RB games at Giants Stadium (as well as Net games), I've been to Newark too, drinking and eating in the I'bound, but I don't fault NYC'ers for not going to Jerz. There's just a mental block on crossing the Hudson. And it's only 20 minutes if you're coming from 14th or WTC. I thought nothing of taking the train for an hour out to Shea, but going to Jers is a whole 'nother thing. It's always going to be a challenge, as evidenced by attendance figures for RBA that were not as good as they should have been.

TOR Fan said...

I'm a big fan of TOR but I am going to boycott this site until you stop saying cotdamn. Most of what you do is clever and cool. That word just annoys the crap out of me. I...just...can't...do...it. That is all.

Anonymous said...

Dude, I live in Portland, the "i can't afford NYC" hipster capitol of the world.

You're way off about hipsters. They're just pink pop-collared polo shirt wearers in different garb. They think they're avant garde and "different", but they're just jumping on the popular bandwagon.

I've met so many "artsy" hipster girls that are just vacant, vapid and annoying. Same as Becky from Minneapolis with her Coach bag, just different clothing.

Nothing there. Just fad following kids. All the losers from HS came to Portland to be cool hipsters, to fit in, and look down at the rest of us who don't shop at fucking American Apparel for womens jeans.

and that shit looks rediculous. There's a happy medium between baggy and tight. Those jeans are just fucking stupid, and the only reason hipsters can wear such tight shit

they have no balls.

Anonymous said...

Yes, lets get a team in New York. Would be nice to get an alternative to New Jersey Red Bulls

Anonymous said...

Great article. Posers who wear Cosmos now and don't go to Red Bull games are not real soccer fans.