Chris Pontius: Bachelor Baller


Cotdamn Chris Pontius. Why ya gotta go out all shirtless with your abs all ripped up to f*** and making the rest of fat guys look worse than we already do? Do you just go play pickup games like that, with your whatever-those-side-muscles-are-called just hanging out for the ladies and homsexualists? Or was this photo taken on the set of the Abercrombie answer to Untitled (How Does it Feel)?

Seriously fool, I loathe you (for your physical superiority and for the team that employs you) but I hope you win this Cosmo Bachelor Blowout thing (vote here). Do it for soccer. Do it for your club. Do it for all of us who have torsos the shape of that ball your holding and can't get a sniff of love from that magazine's readership.


Anonymous said...

this photo turned me gay.

Anonymous said...

Hate to break it to ya...but the photo has been shopped,chopped and brushed... look at his perfect matching oblique lines..not one stretch mark on his entire body...he's 23 and has been/didn't start lifting since 18 i'm sure...half way looks like they pasted the entire midsection on him...DCU must love those sleveless training tops.

google 'unretouched photos'. come on man

Cindy said...

ooooh how does it feel!!!

thanks kindly SF!!!

Anonymous said...

looks like a bad photoshop job. Look at his neck, halfway through it changes completely. Pasted his head on someone else.

Kyle said...

Are the photoshop comments for real? His neck "changes" because he has tan lines from training in sleeveless jerseys every single day. Check out the tan lines on his shoulders - same thing.

I promise you - that's CP.