Landon Donovan: Coverboy
A few weeks ago at one of the All Star parties that was chock full of MLS players, Lando was the only one to roll in with a bodyman. That's not to say he's trying to be Big Willie or anything, he just kinda needs one now because he's a New York Post coverboy in the post-2010 World Cup world.
He's also the coverboy for the upcoming marriage-wrecker/ambition-vacuum that is FIFA 11. And as RSL Soapbox pointed out to me, you know what happens to MLS guys who land the cover of EA Sports' blue chip soccer franchise: a job with a paycheck that comes in Euros. If memory serves Kljestan and Edu were the last MLS guys to get that cover and you see where they are now; LD is as good as gone*.