6.16.2010

Soccer Holds Presser, Admits Homosexuality



Well well. Looks like we're out of the closet and I for one am thrilled. I typically wouldn't say this but it is nice to see Soccer follow Baseball's lead (Baseball admitted in 2007 that bunts were gay*). In solidarity with this revelation I will now admit the following:
  • Behavior was the Pet Shop Boys best album.
  • I once owned a pair of white DNKY trousers with drawstrings on the ankle.
  • On the rare occasion I do read Playboy it is for the articles.
Those are all true statements. And in all seriousness, when are we going to have a male soccer player come out? We've had loads of ladies out in the open but nothing from the fellas. There's got to be somebody out there; hopefully one day they'll let us know because I think it would really help us get over our sh*t.

*Please be advised that use of the word "gay" in this post is to denote a sexual preference and is in no way judgmental; use of the term in a pejorative manner violates one of the few editorial guidelines for The Offside Rules as set forth by the author/lead jackass.

6 comments:

Jrodius said...

I vote Tony Beltran. Those loafers aren't just light cuz their missing a penny...

Jared said...

wait, which ladies are out in the open? Please don't say Hope Solo, because I still hold on to ridiculous hopes that I stand a chance with her.

Anonymous said...

I would imagine it would be hard to score with hope solo...

Dog's New Clothes said...

Justin Fashanu came out in the early 90s and it ruined his career. I'd like to think we've moved on a bit, but I'm not so sure.

SF said...

From what I gather Natasha Kai is out, but mysteriously the original article has been yanked.

http://outsports.com/olympics2008/2008/08/06/american-out-olympian-in-soccer/

Guy Gayle said...

@SF

Kai's people claim she misspoke in that NBC Olympics article, and they refuse to discuss the issue further.

That was the response someone I know got when she tried to write an article about it.