I just don't know what to say here. It's like some really, really rough lost O.D.B. vs. DJ Rupture demo that should have remained lost but was unfortunately found. And what Billy Bob Thornton has to do with this I have no idea.
1. Eddie Johnson will not make the bench.
2. Second-tier leagues are their own worst enemies and will always implode.
3. Freddy Adu will be passed around Europe like a joint at a Phish show.
4. DaMarcus Beasley will be injured regularly as long as he stays with Rangers.
5. I will use Helvetica Bold for a vaguely snarky photo caption.
50+ minutes of Catalan footie badassitude. The catch is it's in Spanish. But if you are either cultured enough to know what is being said or if you are just so enraptured with the cracking visuals that you wouldn't give a rat's even if it was narrated in Kerplakistani, it's a damn fine piece of film. As I didn't apply myself in high school I fall into the later category.
I meant to link to this the other day but was too busy being infectiously ill to do: ESPN The Magazine's cautionary tale of Americans Outsourced To Europe™ written by Luke Cyphers and starring Run DMB and Mo Edu. Aptly titled "Be Careful What You Wish For" it's good, insightful stuff about the trials and tribulations of being a player/playa abroad and how things can go from classy to ashy real quick. I wish I had more to say about it but being that it's Rangers I've already said to much...c'mon Celtic!*
*Take the bait Binks & Pebble, I know you want to.
So check this sh*t out. From the looks of things the renovations of B.C. Place won't be completed in time for the kick off of the 2011 MLS season so the 'Caps (along with CFL side B.C. Lions) will pitch a tent, so to speak, on the grounds of the old Empire Stadium in the form of the $20m temporary stadium you see above. Add this to the new PGE Park renderings that dropped today and it truly is stadium p0rn Christmas. Happy Holidays y'all.
And if any Vancouver bigwigs happen to read this, it might be cool of you to donate this stadium to the less fortunate when you are done with it; someone like San Jose or D.C. could really use it.
If you do not own an iPhone let me give you a reason to buy one: KickSwerve is now available in the App Store and it's the most addictive thing to hit the iPhone since that ridiculous fake coke app from a while back. The beauty of of this game is in it's simplicity; there's no passing or defending, just endless, glorious, swervyshooting. I can't believe I'm saying it but I actually enjoy this loads more than the mobile version of FIFA.
Not even this weekend's record snowfall can stop NYC's Chinatown Soccer Club from training. Such is the life of a rec-league superclub (they have their own adidas shoe, and signed Thierry Henry & Iker Casillas a few years ago) recovering from the tragic injury to striker Mike Messeenie.
I'm laid up with the plague today so unfortunately I won't be playing in the snow today or doing too much blogging. But if you're thinking of going out for a little "snow ball" today, don't forget to break out the orange ball! Safety first.
Just pause it at 9secs and have your laugh. Then once you are over the hilarity that is the Scotch elf, spread some holiday cheer and sponsor a child through Holden's Heroes. After then can you call Will Ferrell and tell him that someone stole his Christmas look.
Here's the question of the day: "Would you let David Beckham do your hair?" I probably would because being that I have virtually none it could only go pear-shaped to a point. Unless I grew my sh*t out like Drogba or Dam-Funk and rocked some kind of smoothed out S-Curl thing, but I doubt he deals with all that (best to call up Louis Saha when dealing with these sort of hair decisions).
George Lopez is also not opposed to getting his wig tweaked by Becks and did so on his show last night. Mariah Carey was also on the show but I'm guessing she wasn't going to let dude anywhere near her bonnet; only Nick Cannon gets to run his fingers through her luxurious locks because he's, y'know, her husband and all which is a whole other conversation.
As there is nothing going on in American soccer right now I think we should all watch cartoons today. Have you seen "Something Something Something Darkside" yet? It's so great...much better than The Simpsons Movie.
MLS Cup seems like ages ago but I'm gonna go back to the well for this one. My dude Adam Serrano shot this in the RSL locker room after the game and it features Yura Movsisyan having a wee spot of trouble poppin' his champagne; Jim Jones, he is not.
This season has been a complete sh*t-show for Liverpool supporters and I feel bad for them. Mind you they are two places ahead of my beloved Fulham, but for them that's not saying much at all. So since it's the holidays I'd like to give all my Reds-loving friends a gift from years past. And even if you have nothing but scorn in your heart for them, you have to love the vocal, undulating crowd in this clip; I guess this is the reason everyone mythologizes The Kop.
Yeah, uh huh. That's Sammi Sweetheart from your favorite best/worst show on television, MTV's Jersey Shore. This morning my guy Jeffy B. informed me that in addition to playing the guys in her house for fools, she also plays midfield for William Paterson University; she hasn't totally lit it up scoring or assist wise (two goals and only two assists in three seasons) but with 41 starts in 53 career matches she must be a pretty solid contributor.
I think my goal from now until Christmas is going to be to interview her. I want to know about how she got into the game. I want to know if she plays D-Mid or on the wing. I want to hear her tell me that Italy is going to win the World Cup. I want to find out if Snookie is in fact small enough to fit comfortably inside a ball bag. I want to know exactly what is the situation with The Situation. And I want to know if she'll play for the club that I am going to start, Dirty Jersey SC.
You just watch...I'm going to make this happen people.
This is how you make your momma proud and respect your elders. This is not; this is how you live up to stereotype and make people really, really, really not like you.
Fact: Portishead was once the recipient of the TOR Award for Band Least Likely to Ever Compose a Track Influenced by Giorgio Moroder™ (if you don't know you disco, Google him). Now look what they done did?! Between this and the new Sade joint --the most sophisticated street rhythm of the year-- it's 1999 all over again, but in a good way. Just waiting for a new Smashing Pumpkins single to drop in 3...2...1...ah, there it is.
TIAS's Adam Spangler is my guy (sorry John Mayer). He is also Nike's guy. He's been doing some fun video stuff for The Swoosh lately over at NikeSoccer.com. You should check him out. You should also check out the Player's Lounge at Niketown on 57th st...just make sure it's on payday.
In the last few weeks I've been in a few different rooms with Stuart Holden and I have to say that dude is a well-dressed sonofabitch. He was rockin' the clean suit above yesterday at the Jefferson Awards luncheon and I was kinda envious of it. How the man manages to keep it so fresh on $35K I have no idea but somebody needs to get a pitch together for a show on Bravo with an option for 3 book deal with Harper Collins because this kid can teach a class on ballin' on a budget.
I don't follow the Brazilian league at all but this video by Gustavo Pellizzon is too beautiful to keep to myself. Teaming with all the color, action and emotion that breathes life into South American football it's one of the best clips I've seen in a while. I'll let him give you the description though as he can obviously set it up better than I can.
"Last Sunday all the red and black people were waiting to see Flamengo win the Brazilian Championship for the sixth time. The seventeen year wait was at an end. Flamengo, the team that has the greatest number of fans in Brazil, won the last game 2-1 against the team Grêmio. Moments of tension, joy and ecstasy on a day that will never be forgotten, a historic day. The Maracanã stadium was completely full for the red and black party. December 2009, Rio de Janeiro is not the same."
This one slipped through the cracks on Friday so I'm sorry for posting up late. But it Martin Tyler talking U.S. v. England so I kinda have to do it. Not because what he has to say is totally earth-shattering but it's because he says everything so...smoooth.
Jermaine Jones hasn't even suited up for the U.S. yet but for some he has already arrived; he's now got a mixtape out entitled "Jermaine Jones: The New American Destroyer" by GAGNEnBRIERE. It may be a little premature since he hasn't even been called up yet but if we're all being honest with ourselves this is probably the most footage the majority of us have seen of him actually playing. I know it is for me.
In other newly-repatriated footballer video news, Edgar Castillo is a Proud American.
Seriously. They said that. My work here is done.
Proof That Everyone is Trying to Cash in on Tiger Woods Cheating (or Tiger Woods Will Do It With Anyone, Even Beardy-Types)
This is proof that everyone is trying to cash in on the "Tiger Woods likes to spread it around" debacle. I ran across this dude on 38st. and said "OMG" to myself in a half-judgmental, half-humored tone when I saw his sign. But then once he clocked my interest he actually wanted me to pay him to see his sign. Insane.
And to be clear, the joke here is not that the gent is homeless. I repeat, THE JOKE IS NOT THAT THE GENT IS HOMELESS. That's just not funny, especially in someplace as hand-cramplingly cold as NYC. The joke is that Tiger Woods has gone from exploiter of his spouse's trust to exploited like a loophole in a poorly executed family trust fund in less time than it would take me and my spectacularly unathletic ass to play 18 holes of golf.
This is what is called "art". They usually keep it in museums and the homes of people who make more money than me. At one time you could learn about it in public schools but back then you could also smoke on airplanes; the past was a crazy place, right?
So this piece of "art" is from what's called an "installation" and was made from loops of VHS recordings of various goal celebrations from the 1986 World Cup. To make it more special and artful they never actually show you the goals though...so basically it's all afterglow, no money shots.
Pasta and sleep seem to be quite popular parts of the pre-game ritual. They are also popular with me and I'd don't play any soccer that doesn't involve the use of my thumbs and nice settee or a Bark O Lounger. So take that people who always say that real soccer is different than playing FIFA video games!
Damn! It took less than 8 hours for Frenchified footy freaks GAGNEnBRIERE to drop an England v. U.S. mixtape on us. I guess I wasn't the only one trying to crank out video today at breakneck speed...no one sleeps on draw day.
Just left Niketown where LD was demoing the new NIKE ID custom boot room. So hot. You can basically create a one of a kind signature boot for the price of an off-the-shelf shoe. So you know I had to have a go and create the TOR designer original. What'chall think? Was the "SF" on the tongue too much?
Bobby Blue Eyes & co. have no expectations for the draw. Which is funny because after the last three games I have no expectations for the tournament. Hopefully a bit of good luck will come our way in both to balance out the bad-juju double-whammy of the Davies and Gooch injuries.
The Don will be in Cape Town tomorrow for the draw. I will be in New York because I do not have the kind of juice that gets you business class seats on intercontinental flights. But if I did I would send you all back pictures and notes from abroad just like The Don. Instead you'll be getting a bunch of New York noise from me tomorrow as I hang with Lando, hit up Nike Town & ESPN Zone for draw parties and rock out at Nevada Smith's. Happy Draw-day!
So y'all know that I was all over Seattle like Tiger Woods on a Vegas cocktail waitress (what, too soon?) during MLS Cup and filmed a bunch of fly-on-the-wall ghetto-cam footage. Obviously I wasn't alone in documenting the event; amongst the myriad of soccer folk that were running around filming were my boys (& girl) Scott from Chivas USA, Troy from LA Galaxy, Dan & Kate from MLSnet and a few other people more handy than I with a camera.
In the days that followed the final bits of celebratory confetti falling on the Qwest Field turf, life began to look in the direction of the 2010 season and Scott began to edit together loads of the better bits and pieces from the days leading up to and including the final. The clip above is the result and I'm kind of into it; as a fan it's great to see some of the things that we usually only get to read about and as an employee of The Corporation it's the kind of thing that I would like to see us create more often.
The title of this clip is somewhat misleading as RSL seem to be bigging-up their sponsor as much as Xango is feting the 2009 MLS Cup champs. But that's how it is in business I guess, one hand washes the other and all of that. It's a well-produced clip though and the sponsors seem genuinely excited about the team's title. Hell, the one guy almost seems more excited than some of the guys on the team.
Our Landon was on ESPN earlier this afternoon chatting with Bob Ley about
The honchos at FIFA got into a cipher this morning on all of the big issues that people are currently sweating them about: the Henry handball, fan violence, match-fixing etc. What was big Sepp's response to all the drama? Heeeeeeeeeeeeee shall not be moved. ESPN's Jeremy Schaap comes through with the not very sexy results from today's sit-down direct from South Africa.
Finally! In This Light & On This Evening has been out since October but Editors are just now announcing U.S. tour dates. About damn time too...I was this close to listening to listening to Interpol again. Buy yourself some tickets and go get dancey.
Editors - 2010 Tour Dates
Feb 05 || Seattle, WA || Showbox at the Market
Feb 06 || Vancouver, BC || Commodore Ballroom
Feb 08 || San Francisco, CA || The Warfield Theatre
Feb 09 || San Diego, CA || House of Blues
Feb 11 || Los Angeles, CA || The Wiltern
Feb 13 || Denver, CO || Ogden Theatre
Feb 15 || Chicago, IL || Victoria Theatre
Feb 16 || Toronto, ON || Phoenix Concert Theatre
Feb 18 || Boston, MA || House of Blues
Feb 19 || New York, NY || Terminal 5
Feb 20 || Philadelphia, PA || Trocadero
Feb 21 || Washington, DC || 9:30 Club
If I had to hear Rihanna while watching this I would have preferred to hear "Umbrella, ella, ella, ay ay ay" or her "Paper Planes" cover. But it's not really her song it's a Jay-Z song. But if I had to hear a Jay-Z song I would have preferred the Chester French mix of "Excuse Me Miss" or the joint he did with Luke Steele of Empire of the Sun. And if I'm taking it this far I would have just preferred Empire of the Sun. So remind me to put together a remix for this later.
Alan McGee once famously (in Britain at least) referred to the collective works of Coldplay as "music for bedwetters". If that is the case then I suggest you grab a pair of your Gran's Depends and wrap your mattress in Saran Wrap because some of you may develop a sudden case of nocturnal enuresis after watching this one; in fact it might be best to check with your health-care provider about coverage for this before pressing play.