LA v. Chivas: The ESPN Preview

America are you ready for the buckwildness* that will be the playoff editions of the SuperClasico aka The Battle of Los Angeles#? For me this match up has got to be one of the highlights of the 2009 playoffs. I'm not a butcher but I do know this much: beef tastes better in October. JP & Johnny know it too and drop a little science on how it might all go down.

*not a real word.
#you ever heard about the real Battle of Los Angeles? Crazyness. Aliens are real y'all and they want In-N-Out Burger just like everyone else.

SuperClasico Ground Zero (It Ain't The Home Depot Center)


Everybody know someone who cohabitates with someone who supports a different sports team than them. For instance my brother-in-law is a die-hard Giants fan while his son bleeds Jets green; even though they rarely play each other, the trash talking can get definitely get heated (in a good way). But to live with someone who plays for your arch-rival? That's some whole other sh*t.

That's the situation in an apartment in SoCal that's shared by Chivas USA's Ante Jazic and Julian Valentine of the LA Galaxy. I really hope there's a good side bet going on this one that we don't know about. Something like "loser pays next month's rent" or the ever-popular "loser is responsible for the purchase and upkeep of all in-home beer stocks".

Revolution v. Fire: The ESPN Preview

JP & Johnny sum up the New England v. Chicago match in 1 minute or less (or your purchase is free).


Sacha Kljestan: Inspiring Hip Hop Since 2006


Like Jack Spade said in I'm Gonna Get You Sucka, every good hero needs some theme music. So if Sacha is going to be a playoff hero for Chivas USA this weekend he better get used to a soundtrack following him around like a 16-bar shadow. But he doesn't get KRS-One (not even Thierry Henry gets KRS-One), he gets SoCal rapper Silentarmy; he just dropped a few SK16-inspired verses ahead of this weekend's playoff match with the help of some lo-fi production by Myself&Eye. It slays Djorkaeff's joint from a few years back but it can't touch the "Scenario" of soccer-hop, "Don't Tread".

And if you still need a little more Sacha in your life check out his interview at CO-ED Magazine (spotted at The Original Winger).

Video: Alexi on Blanco Vera-Cruising Out of Chicago

His Ginger Majesty™ finds the timing of Blanco's transfer announcement a bit unsavory. What's your take? Holler at your boy in the comments.

Juan Pablo Angel x Kanye West (Using Daft Punk as the Derivative and/or Base) + Clint Mathis ≥ This Video

What, you didn't know there was a mathematics portion to all this?

Video: ESPN On MLS Playoffs 2009

With one down and three to go, Press Pass previews the rest of the playoff picture. I'll be very interested to see how Janusz's picks compare to Alexi's dog's picks. I'm not saying that he's Kreskin or anything but I'll bet you $3.23 and a bottle of brass monkey that the pooch is off by no more than a single prediction. That's not a slam on Janusz, that's just how buckwild & unpredictable the playoffs can be.

Offside: A Short Film Adolfo Cantu-Villareal

Because nothing else matters...

MLS Playoffs 2009: Seattle v. Houston

When you say to the uninitiated that you just watched a really exciting nil-nil game they tend to look at you in manner that suggests you are not all there; for them it's like going to Vegas and not gambling. But if you know what's what, a scoreless draw is akin to two blind-folded guys fighting; they may never land a punch but the near misses are what make it entertaining.

Remember U.S.-Argentina at Giants Stadium? Sh*t was classic. Not a goal in sight but I have never sang so loud and so long in my life (or in a downpour). Last night's match wasn't quite as epic (from TV at least but those in the stands might think otherwise) but it was certainly a fine example of the titillating tie. If you missed the match check the highlights above. And to you non-believers I say "yes"; yes you can have highlights from a scoreless match.


Alexi Lalas' Dog is The Sitter (& the "Stay"-er & the "Rollover"-er

What's the over and under on the dog getting it right tonight? Tell you what, if Seattle takes the series I say he get's a seat at the desk on Fox Soccer Report. At the very least he should get sideline reporting segment during the next round of the playoffs; people love "cute"...just ask Heather Mitts.

The Librarian: Soccernomics


Remember a few years ago how everyone --myself included-- was all OMFG when "How Soccer Explains The World Came Out"? I was all tits-over-tail about and then my man Tom Fina, The Angriest Man in Metroland™, hit me with the heat one night that "Frank Foer is just Kuper light".

Intrigued, I had to find out who this Simon Kuper was so I read his engrossing "Soccer Against the Enemy" and found myself swiftly agreeing with Fina. So it's with great anticipation and fanboy enthusiasm that I get to tell you that his latest book, "Soccernomics: Why England Loses, Why Germany and Brazil Win, and Why the U.S., Japan, Australia, Turkey--and Even Iraq--Are Destined to Become the Kings of the World's Most Popular Sport", came out this week. You should buy it not because I think you should or because you are a footie freak but because it has the most unwieldy title since Dave Eggers' "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius: Based on a True Story?".

Video: Viva Futbol #41

The all-out king of bootleg footie mixtapes, Alarazboy, is back with Viva Futbol #41. I knew I hadn't seen anything by him on Vimeo in a minute but our man from Chris from Columbus.TheOffside.com pointed out to me this morning that dude's rocking his own Youtube channel now so he's not dead, he just moved house.

And as per usual the house is rocking; this time the symphony of step-overs, drags and nutmegs moves to the sound of Common & Pharrell's planet rocker "Universal Mind Control". "Planet rocker"...see, see what I did there?

NSR: Spike Jonze's Pimp Hand is Strong

Please take a moment to give Spike Jonze the slow clamp this morning for doing something we've all wanted to do: slap someone who's too busy on the Blackberry to pay attention to you/slap Kanye West. Dude basically did the double here and that deserves some sort of trophy for that, if not two. Where The Wild Things Are is great, but this right here is the masterpiece for which i will always remember him.


Stadium P0rn: Inside Red Bull Arena with Extra Time

Gregan'em (pronounced like the Southernism "Momma'nem"*) take the show on the road to Harrison for the laying of the final piece of sodding sod. They're also joined by special guests Tab Ramos & Ritchie Williams to talk stadia, New Jersey stuff and playoffs. They also prove that --standing next to Ramos & Williams they are the tallest team of pundits in the American soccersphere.

* Momma'nem
Part of Speech:
[Mah′muh′ nem]
a. Your momma - Your mother.
b. (and) them - everybody related to you; everybody related to your mother; any person closely associated with your mother; any neighbor of your mother within 5 blocks; anybody that attends your mother's church; anybody your mother knew from back in the day; anybody who is at the mall, a pancake breakfast or a Teddy Pendergrass concert with your mother.
Usage: Q: "You seen Craig?" A: "Naw dude. He went with Momma' nem to go pick up Pookie from work."

The Dynamo Youth Movement

This looks like something I would watch, a Survivor for the travel team set but without kids having to eat a bunch of gross stuff. Instead they will have to endure something far more unpleasant and uncomfortable in the notorious Houston humidity: swamp crotch.

Unfortunately I've no idea what (if any) tune-in information there is for this show; the website is a little unclear as to whether this is an online show or if this is for over-the-air television. It's also pretty ambiguous about when it starts. Basically it's nice trailer and not much else but I like the idea.

Debacle! Canadian Teams Out of USL 1


Now here's something interesting. United Soccer League's CEO Nick Papadakis told a Canadian radio station that "the negotiations are finished" and Vancouver and Montreal are out of the league for 2010. Neither club has issued a statement though so perhaps this is just a hardball tactic on the part of the honchos at USL 1.

It will be interesting to see how this all plays out though, particularly how the departure of these 2 clubs would effect the Nutrilite Canadian Championship and CONCACAF Champions League qualification next year. I have 5 bucks & a Badonkadonk Land Cruiser that says that Montreal plays somehow, some way, in some league next year; no way that brand-new stadium of theirs goes vacant so soon.

Playoffs Real Talk From ESPN Deportes

9+ minutes of MLS Playoff real talk from Jorge Ramos and co. It's a very well-produced segment and yet another reason for me to regret the sorry state of my Spanish-speaking ability. But if you are more cultured than I and can rock it en Espanol, rock it out then. If you don't speak Spanish feel free to complain about how we need a something like that in English. I'll start.

Video: Behind the Scenes of U.S.-Honduras

Behind the scenes video and pitch-side highlights from the U.S.-Honduras match aka The Phantom Qualifier. U.S. is getting better & better at these...keep 'em coming Kammerman.

NSR: Gentlemen Broncos

"We can add "anus" to just about anything and it becomes...magical".

That line alone is funny --and true-- enough for me, so I don't even have to see this movie. But I will because on the scale of Kiwi freshness Jemaine Pennant sits second between Ladyhawke & Ryan Nelson and anything that has The Shout Out Louds in the trailer is quality in my book. Plus the website has loads lazer beams and appears to have been designed by MGMT whilst on a mescalin trip so I pretty much have to go see this.

Do You See Where Greed Will Get You?

If dude would have left this ball alone his side would have been back in the game with an equalizer. But he just had to go glory-seeking and made a hash of what by all rights should have been a tap in. This really is the equivalent of running into Paris Hilton at 3 am on a Saturday night and still going home alone. Or at the very least it's akin to missing the playoffs by dropping three points to the worst team in the league on the last day of the season.

Extra Time: Episode 36 Act 1

Extra Time live from the House of Taurine. Get an eyeful of those seats and that grass in the background; with apologies to Seattle's uniforms, blue & green never looked so good together. And most importantly get an earful of hot playoff talk from Greg, Jason, Shep & Shep's mustache.


Video: Paint the Town Black & Gold

New England aren't the only one's who what you to send them your money*. Columbus has a house to fill as well so get out your credit cards and get it in, Ohio (and get a free scarf for your troubles).

*One of my favorite songs from middle school was "Send Me Your Money" by Suicidal Tendencies. Easily one of the finer soundtracks to small-town juvenile delinquency, it was the bizzaro, American extension of the "Past the pub that wrecks your body and the church all they want is your money"-line from The Smith's "The Queen is Dead". So weird how when I was 12 I listened to music with a message and now as an adult I find myself listening mindless music. Life's funny ain't it?

New Blogger on the Block: Freddie Ljungberg


Did you know Freddie Ljungberg has a blog? I didn't. I just noticed it in the byline of his recent column for Soccernet. Yeah that's right, he also has a column at ESPN. So to recap he's a footballer, a model, a blogger, a columnist and a handball enthusiast. Hell if he started med school and got his pilots license dude would be the new Barbie.

New England-Chicago Playoff Tickets on Sale Tomorrow

The Revolution want the cup
. They also want you to buy tickets to the playoffs when they go on sale tomorrow. Additionally, they seem to feel that a song by someone who sounds remarkably like Animalize-era Kiss is the best way to inspire you to do purchase said tickets; welcome to New England Rock City.

MLS Final Kick: Week 32

Final Kick on the final week of the regular season. Hopefully ESPN will continue to push these out during the playoffs...keep locked here and if so I'll let you know.


Own A Piece of U.S. Soccer History (If You Are Minted).

Anyone out there have any interest in starting up Motor City FC? C'mon, you know you want to purchase the Pontiac Silverdome as your home field since it's up for auction due to no one actually wanting to buy an outdated, outsized, domed stadium in the outskirts of Detroit outright.

This is the same building that hosted the first-ever indoor World Cup match, during which the U.S. began it's World Cup '94 campaign in a 1-1 draw against the Swiss. So it's historical you see. Plus you could rename it the Lalas Dome in honor of Michigan's most famous soccer sons. So...who wants it?

For Once, College Soccer Is Interensting

...but only for 18 seconds.

NSR: The Return of V

Oh sh*t y'all! It's penutbutterjellytime over at ABC; they are bringing back the classic 80's sci-fi series V and I am as stoked as a hippie at a Birkenstock outlet. I loved this show when I was a kid. Remember the alien baby? What about those red leather outfits that made everyone look like they where Thriller-era MJ or Raw-era Eddie Murphy? And the greatest reveal of all time...Diana eating the guinea pig?!

I think I should start a letter-writing campaign demanding that someone eat a rodent in the new show. But this isn't the 80's so they have to up the game a bit and go with a larger rodent, an Indian rat or a groundhog perhaps; if these aliens are going to front like they are contemporary Americans they need to have an outsized appetite to match if this is going to be believeable.

5 Burning Questions: Playoff Edition

Harkesy's putting his money on Seattle or LA to win the whole shebang-a-bang. I'm not sure that one of them will win it but I could definitely see one of them in the4 final; aside from last night's hiccup I think Columbus is still doing it big and no doubt have a shot at a championship double-dip.

But the thought of Seattle or LA in the final has to make you daydream a little. Can you imagine how absolutely huge a story it would be if LA overcome the past few years and make the final? I'll bet you $6 and a half-pound nacho crunch burrito that somewhere in America there is a guy composing a piece this very second on how Beckham's time in the States mirrors Pele's (Pele's Cosmos never won a championship until his 3rd and final season) just in case. And if Seattle is there...let's just say it would be MLS Cup 2002 to the 10th power.

But that's a lot of ifs, maybes and uncertainties. And before we even get to that point we've got to deal with a pair of playoff Superclasico's and yet another Chicago-New England post-season grudge match. So sorry baseball, but you can't hog all of the October excitement for yourself...you've got to learn to share sometime.

ESPN on Americans Outsourced to Europe

Jozy was late to his own game? Dude better start rolling like this if he wants to get out of the manager's dog house and on to the field any time soon.

Video: Top 10 MLS Goals of the Year

I was ready to get upset and cry foul that Macca's turn-&-shoot job wasn't in the number 1 spot but then I saw that it was Clintinho's goal that was at the top of the list so I'm chill now. He may not be the Mathis of olde but on any given Saturday dude is still capable of being the king...may he reign forever.


NSR: Vampire Weekend "Cousins"

There is not a bloodsucker in sight but it is the weekend and this is getting heavy iPhone rotation at the moment. I feel like it's a bit early to be two singles-deep into Contra since it doesn't drop until January but I'm not going to sweat it as Adam, Gabe and the other guys at their label, Beggars, always have a plan...so this is part of the plan, right?

Two months can be a long time particularly if you're wrongly incarcerated, unwillingly celibate or if you are talking about blog-rock; 2 months can mean burn out or burning up the charts depending on how you play it. I just hope the new stuff isn't played out before the album is out. But that's all some future sh*t I can't be bothered with right now because right now I have a tailgate to get to!


Video: Extra Time on Minnows & Miracles

Miracles happen right? The Yanks lost the 1st two games of the Confederations Cup and still miracled thier ass to the final. In 2008 RBNY were only a margianlly better team than they were this season and they made it all the way out west to MLS Cup. And despite all attempts to kill themselves at Massachusetts Big-E Fair, over 1,000K a day ate a Craz-E burger and lived.

With that said, what are the chances of Real Salt Lake and FC Dallas playing next week? Shep, Greg and JTP break out the chickens feet, tarot cards and tea leaves to try and find out.

Sounders Strike Poses in Addition to Balls

Will someone in Seattle please reassure me and tell me that D List magazine is not nearly as bad as the phrase "D List" typically implies?

WellsThompson.Com Y'all

Does Wells Thompson still live in a dorm? Kinda looks like it. I bet his roommate --who is probably named Bodie-- made his website for him between games of hackey sack and trying to look deep while reading Bukowski on The Quad. Which was real nice of him so Wells should probably get him Dave Matthews tickets or something to say thanks.

And I'm certainly not trying to dis Wells when I say this but how is it that he has a website and Taylor "Multiple Endorsements & Face of the Franchise" Twellman doesn't? It truly boggles the mind.

Video: 5 Burning Questions

We haven't had one of these in while have we? Seems like it's been an entire season since we last saw JP and Johnny Boy's Q+A franchise. Oh well, nice to have 'em back and going around the league on an award tour like their names were Q-Tip and Phife Dog.

Video: Drew Carey on Fox Business Channel

It's the final week of the season and Sir Drew is still out there spreading the gospel like it was week one. You don't have to love the Sounders but you've gotta love his passion.


The Librarian: A Massive Book


One shouldn't be in the business of making blind endorsements, but I'm going to step out and echo my dude Dunny's co-sign on Steve Sirk's new Columbus Crew book, A Massive Season. I haven't read it but it's just nice to see some American soccer-based product available in Amazon.com.

This coupled with the long, long, long-awaited release of Simon Kuper's upcoming book, Soccernomics, makes for a banner month for The Largest Library of Soccer Related Literature on the Jersey Shore™. If only a Brian McBride tome would have dropped this month; then I would have been set until Christmas.

NSR: Obligatory Bi-Annual Justice Post

Next week is going to be a good week for the rockers, ravers, dancers and derelicts of three of America's most debauched cities. In a span of only 72 hours Justice, the world's most-beloved/bangin' dance duo of leather-clad French Christians will attempt to do what countless summer blockbusters, Hurricane Katrina and multiple riots could not: they will destroy New York, New Orleans and Los Angeles.

The destruction begins in NYC on 10.29, takes a detour south to NOLA on 10.30 and culminates in an epic orgy of sweaty, undulating bodies in downtown LA on Halloween night. America, I know you have it in you. Get out there and do work.

FIFA 10 Tour Bringing Hi Def Gaming, Marital Stress Nationwide


EA Sports is not content to let you find FIFA 10; FIFA 10 is out to find you. And by find you I mean they are send a pair of tricked out trucks with 13 TV/PS3 set ups around the country to tempt you in joining the cult. At each stop they'll let you play the game and throw some swag and prizes your way, including the chance to win that new PSP.

Want to know more? Hit 'em 0n the book of faces for dates, locations, videos etc. Don't blame them though if you f*ck around and show up late for work, anniversary dinner or some other thing you were supposed to be at because you were trying (in vain) to come back from being 2 goals down at Old Trafford; in this case only I'd say don't hate the game, hate the player.

Language Lessons With RBNY

Just in case you were thinking of brushing up on some of the local languages before heading to South Africa for World Cup 2010, you should know that watching this clip is far cheaper than buying Rosetta Stone: Afrikaans Edition. You'll never learn how to find a toilet or order a beer with this but at the very least you'll still have money to buy the beer you can't order.

Tally Hall is the New Danny Cepero

Remember when Danny Cepero scored his "manifest destiny" goal from one side of Giants Stadium to the other? Everyone was like "whoa". With a little help from Brian Ching running interference, Houston's N°2 keeper Tally Hall pulled the same trick in CONCACAF Champions League play last night. It wasn't enough to get them the win but if past history serves it might be enough to get him on SportsCenter.

The Thursday Night Hype: Chivas USA vs. Chicago Fire


I'm well aware that Thursday night is the night to go out for young, drunken & collegiate, so if you are between the ages 18 & 23 and currently share an apartment/dorm room that hasn't been cleaned since August with a guy named "Bodie" I'm cool with you ignoring this post.

Now for everyone that is still here may I remind you that there is a game tonight with super-sized playoff implications. Chivas USA are in Bridgeview to play the Fire (8:00 PM ESPN2) and depending on the outcome, Chivas USA could finish either 1st or 4th in the West while one of the ten reasons Chi-City fans should tune-in is Chicago can get in with a win (or some other crazy scenario that I can't even attempt to sum up).

So tune-in, it should be a good time. Not "boozy-Thursday-night-waking-up-with-someone-questionable-Friday-morning" good time but what is.


NSR: U2 To Broadcast Rose Bowl Show For Free

Remember when a big, live concert broadcast was solely the domain of HBO and MTV? To quote Biggy, "things done changed".

This Sunday night U2 will broadcast their show at Pasadena's Rose Bowl live and for free on Youtube so if you didn't have the duckets, desire or luck to score tickets to the 360 Tour this is your chance to "watch through the fence" so to speak. I know the new album kinda blows but this is an event. That and they may play "I Will Follow".

I think this might be my excuse to buy that Apple TV thingy so I can watch this on the big screen. That or finally put the PS3's Youtube function to good use.

Everybody Loves Holden

Stew "The Brew" Holden was all up on Fox Football Fone-In this week and Nicky Webster pointed out that Stuart is striking the ball in a manner that he describes as Beckham-esque. Also Waldo said that he thinks this is Stuart's year and he told him so on Facebook.

(Pause for internal analysis of that last sentence and what it says about where we are as a society and how the nature of person-to-person communication has changed.)

Whether it is his year or not is up for debate --I'd say it's been a good one for him for sure-- but what's for certain is that this is the last year of his MLS contract. If Houston doesn't get him locked up for another four years you can bet your sweet Arsenal that the kid will have at least a couple of European clubs sweating him like he was brisket at a BBQ.

That's part one. Part two touches on Chuck D. & MLS players in World Cup 2010 and features Temyrss looking hot like fire; that woman is just gorgeous.

Video: Red Bull Arena Seat Selection

Here's a video of a couple of Brooklyn boys breaking one of my cardinal rules for New York area-living: never cross two rivers in one trip. If you have to go from the BK to The Dirty Jersey make a pit stop in the city for a drink, a meal or anything to break up the trip. I find that it makes the journey less epic. But considering the odyssey it was to get Red Bull Arena though maybe an epic quest or two is definitely in order.


Lando Is Player of the Year


Again. Jozy was never really in the running but Timmy might have a case for Grand Theft Accolade.

Video: Kicking It With Brian Ching

Typically we "kick it" with Allen "Allen Oxenfree" Hopkins but today we get a video with Brian Ching and somebody's uncle. In it they sit on stools, talk about red cards and --presumably because they are in Houston-- sweat. Allen if you are reading this please know that I am really not the cheating type but everybody likes a bit of strange from time to time.

"Caller Number 9, You're on With Don Garber"


Do you have a question for The Don? Do you also have a desire to have your voice heard on live television? Yes? OK. Then read and remember this. I will not be calling in but instead I will be on my couch with a bottle of Glenmorangie taking a drink every time a caller mentions single table, changing the schedule, expansion, raising the salary cap and "saving MLS".

Your Americans Outsourced To Europe Report™

I ain't gonna lie: I didn't even watch this clip.

D.C. United's New Signing Is...


...this guy. Seriously, it's official. And if it is written on the internet it has to be true.

Video: Charlie Davies Out of ICU

Big Al Hopkins with the update on our man Charlie Davies.


Robbie Rogers: "No one likes to lose, not in training, not in a game of cards, not anything."

Fanhouse's Brian Strauss tracked down Robbie Rogers a.k.a The Ohio Player to get his thoughts on qualifying, Bobby Blue Eyes and mortality. It's a pretty good read; if I'm using the Irvine Welsh Scale Of Readable Texts™ I'd say it's better than Glue but not nearly as brilliant/messed up as Filth. Check out while you are camping out in front of your local GameStop waiting for FIFA10 to drop.

NSR: Kanye West's "We Were Once a Fairy Tale"

So this is Kanye West's idea of laying low: a vaguely NSFW 11-minute short film directed by Spike Jones starring an inebriated Mr. West on a bottle-service binge that ends in multiple stabbings, both human & animal alike.

Huh. Stereogum says it's basically his "The Wrestler" and I could kinda buy that. But for a dude as, well as Kanye as Kanye is, this could also just be his Tuesday.

Video: RPB's Danny Dichio Tribute

This is a loooong video so you may want to clear some time in your Outlook calendar if you intend to watch it. But since it's a clip of the Red Patch Boys creating thier outsized Danny Dichio tribute banner it's somewaht fitting that the video is super-sized; any banner that has to be carried by forklift desereves the director's cut.

The TOR Goal of the Week: Canuckistan Edition

This was my favorite goal of the week in any league. Montreal dominated Vancouver at home in the USL Championship on Saturday and this goal from Joey Gjertsen was the one that just killed. His finishing was certainly on-point but respect has to go out to Roberto Brown --yes, that Roberto Brown-- for the outrageous assist because that sh*t was just ridonk.

Anyway congratulations to Montreal for winning thier third USL title. And if you want to see the rest of the highlights go here. If not, and you would prefer to see a short documentary on "the most ridiculous place in the United States" go here.*

*Yes, this is now officially the first Choose Your Own Adventure blog. Sorry.

NSR: What Up With That?

"Tackling the issues of today with soul".


LA Galaxy Sign on For European Vacation, Chevy Chase Unconfirmed


Foreign fans rejoice! The 2009 leg of the Bucks for Becks World Tour™ is on. Having already run through Australia, Asia and Canada in off-seasons past, the Galaxy are spending this Thanksgiving in Europe...kind of like that rich kid you went to school with who always rocked Lacoste and had cool parents who would let him have wine at dinner.

The fun starts in Kaiserslautern and were it goes from there is anyone's guess. Maybe just for the sake of being ironic they will play a match in the Frankfurt Galaxy's old stadium. That or Torsten Frigs front lawn (sorry, but I'll never forget or forgive him for 2002).

Video: One on One with Stuey Holden

See, I like this kid. He can play a 'lil ball but he's also funny and can talk a little trash. Brian Ching on the hand might not be too fond of him though after this interview.

In Case You Missed It: The Maradona Press Conference

The clip above is from Diego Maradona's presser following Argentina's WCQ victory on Wednesday night. To say he was more than a bit smug with regard to his side's qualification is something of an understatement. For those of us that don't speak Spanish, let me provide you with a translation courtesy of my guy JP.

"To those who didn’t believe, with apologies to the ladies: they can suck it. They can keep sucking it. I’m either black or white – I’ll never be gray in my life. Eh? You people who treated me like you did? Keep licking it. Now, next question?"

Incredible. This is classic Diego at his mental, ballsy best. Or worse when you really think about it. Needless to say that hot coach-talk of this caliber is as rare as a Red Bull road win and the suction-centric portion of the comment it is gaining cult status --there's already a T-shirt for Christ sakes-- at an alarming rate. But the big question is this: is it the most-watchable coach's conference since the Dennis Green post-game meltdown?


LA Times Says What We're All Thinking: Who'll Partner With Jozy


Read this piece in the LA Times about Charlie Davies being "irreplaceable". Note the conspicuous (almost) absence of The Striker Who's Name Shall Not Be Spoken™. If ever there was a time for him to get his ass in gear and remind all of us that he used to be somebody, this is it.

A Random Portland Video

Busy day today so things might be scarce for the rest of the afternoon. Sorry, but all this work is getting in the way of my play.

This video doesn't really have anything to do with anything other than I thought it was kinda nice looking and it was never actually used by the Timbers so it's something like a lost track. Except this won't end up on any box set, just a few blogs.

Holden, DeRo Up For a Major Award (Cue A Christmas Story Joke)


For those of you out there wondering what exactly "dookie rope" is or isn't, please allow me to clarify. This is not a dookie rope, it is just a common chain painted gold. This on the other hand is a classic dookie rope chain. Note the tell-tale twisted flow of the rope; so gangsta.

Now, about that award then. The Jefferson Awards have nothing to do with George & Weezy and everything to do with public service and basically being a lot classier than most people when it comes to giving back to the community. They're kind of a big deal and this year Dwayne De Rosario and Stuart Holden have been nominated for the prestigious Jefferson Award for Outstanding Public Service by an Athlete alongside Steve "I Heart Soccer" Nash & Venus Williams.

The nomination recognizes their dedication to their local communities and passion for international causes. It's good stuff all-around really. And to be clear "international causes" does NOT mean World Cup qualification although I'm sure they're both pretty passionate about that as well.


On Equal Signs and Equalizers


Love = the photo above.
Guts = willing an equalizer when you're down a man in the 95th minute.
Greatness = this game.

U.S.-Costa Rica Pre-Game With Harkesy

ESPN and Johnny Harkes with a look at Team USA and where their heads are at ahead of tonight's closing qualifier. This sh*t is going to be waaay emo and I'm not talking about My Chemical Romance or any other band of boys wearing girls jeans. I ain't gonna lie...if they don't get me in the pre-game I'll probably be a beery, teary mess during the 9th minute.

And Speaking of RBNY...

...they're part of the nightcap on ESPN2 following the U.S. - Costa Rica match. They take on Real Salt Lake live from The House That Checketts built --which by the way is now pioneering in-seat churro service in addition to celebrating it's 1st birthday-- at 10:00pm EST. Get the "he said" above and read the "she said" right here.

The Grass Is Always Greener (Than The Turf)


Check the Red Bull Arena webcam right now and you'll see something wonderful, glorious and green. No, I'm talking about Dietrich Mateschitz's millions laid out like a...well actually yeah, I guess I am talking about that since he's kinda bankrolling this whole miracle along the Passaic. One of the prettiest things I have seen in a stadium since Penelope Cruz last turned out in support of Spain.

NSR: James Cameron's Avatar

The thirteen year-old boy in me is beyond geeked for this film. I swear to God it's like James Cameron has taken it upon himself to exorcise the demons of Endor on behalf of all of us. So curse you and your ewoks George Lucas, this is how you do "inter-planetary military-ops on a lush, jungle planet inhabited by perceived primitives who will kick that human ass in the end".

Show Your Love For Charlie Davies


In a show of support for Chuck D. and in solidarity with The Baltimore Brigade, and a number of other bloggers & tweeters out there in the American soccersphere, I'm encouraging anyone attending tonight's match vs. Costa Rica at RFK to print one of these out and hold it aloft in the 9th minute. Show some love people, show it.

Video: New FIFA10 Trailer

One more week kids, one more week.

NSR: Miami Horror's "Sometimes"

Miami Horror: doing New Order better than New Order has since Technique.

Video: Jozy's Post-Game Interview

Young Jozy's post-game comments with ESPN's Bob Ley; is it just me or does Bob seem to really be getting into this whole soccer thing?

Extra Time: Episode 34 Act 1

The Awesome 3 on Jeff Cunningham and the Dallas debate. They also touch on the playoff chase in Toronto; of course hindsight is 20/20 but do you think Mo Johnston wishes he would have hung on to Cunningham and Casey now that they are leading the league in goals? I've heard of "buyers remorse" but does "traders remorse" exist?


Video: Jozy Altidore on First Take

Here's Jozy Altidore's clip from ESPN's First Take this morning. Do you think he has a real chance at wrestling Honda Player of the Year from Timmy or Lando?

Video: Charlie Davies Accident Update

As of the 5 o'clock broadcast, D.C.'s ABC 7 says it's a broken femur and tibia...

Video: Yanks Still Focused On Costa Rica Despite Clinching

Lando, Bobby Blue Eyes, Gooch and Timbo talk about where their heads are at pre-Costa Rica match. This was obviously taped before news of Charlie Davies unfortunate accident so their minds --and all of our minds-- might be in a different place right now. My most sincere thoughts & prayers go out to Charlie's family & friends; feel free to pray to the God of your choice for his healthy, speedy recovery.

Video: World Cup News Girls

More news you can use, this time it's coming from the Sirens of Soccer. You're welcome.

MLS Final Kick Week 30

Short week this week with only a handful of matches to get you through a long weekend (if you were off on Monday). If you are a TFC supporter I send out the most heartfelt of condolences; 2 minutes into stoppage is a hell of a time to soil your shorts.

Get Friendly: Yanks vs. Danes in November


Is there is no rest for the World Cup-bound? In addition to tomorrow night's qualifier finale against Costa Rica, the Yanks will march on to Aarhus in November for a friendly versus Denmark on the 18th. There is also talk of matches in the spring against the Dutch and the English...to which I say "bring it".

By the way the photo above is from a match between the U.S. and Denmark back in 1917 that U.S. supposedly won. I can't confirm it though as the records from that time period are a bit sketchy (although it is known that they drew with Norway and defeated Sweden in Europe in the fall of that year so it's entirely possible). But if you choose to believe you can order a framed print of this from Amazon.com; it'll look great in your den next to the Cathy Ireland cutout.

Video: Studio 90

Tuesday morning news you can use from U.S. Soccer.


Joy Division's Peter Hook on Becks Secret Rap Career

Lucky you, it's a Hooky "twofer" today. Channelbee has the king of the low-slung bass and one of the architects of the greatest World Cup anthem of all time spilling the beans on David Beckham's aborted rap career. And if anyone have a bootleg mp3 of Paul Gascoigne's banned verse, I want in!

Reason #243 Why Soccer A.M. Is Amazing

Reason #243 why Soccer A.M. is amazing: you get to see Ari Gold become a Hamilton Academic supporter while seated on a couch next to Peter "I used to own the world's greatest dance club (and I kicked Ryan Giggs out of it" Hook from New Order/Joy Division.

Hey Aretha, Can Conor Casey Borrow a Wee Bit of Your R.E.S.P.E.C.T?


Event though Conor Casey only one goal behind Jeff "The Jet" Cunningham and scored a brace at Honduras he's still gets no love. It's kind of a shame but since, according the vaunted Reagan-era pop artist & relationship expert Patricia Benatar, "love is a battlefield" I guess that's not all bad. Greg Lalas explores this phenomenon and watches U.S. player stock like his name was E.F. Hutton at SI.com today. Read it; it's what Columbus would have wanted.

NSR: Phoenix on Ferguson

A bit of happy, Monday morning music for the holiday from the band with a genetic splice of Carlton from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and Animal from The Muppet Show on drums.


Relive The Magic..

...the magic of The Leprechaun recapping the World Cup-clinching match for the U.S.


NSR: Modest Mouse "Whale Song"

Do you like indie-rock love songs for pirates? How about long-ass videos with stop-motion animation and the like? Do you have 6+ minutes to kill? And if so can you sit around for 2 minutes waiting for the vocal to kick in? If you answered "yes", I give you the latest offering from Modest Mouse. It's real special.

Video: The Yanks Arrive in Honduras

Them Yankee boys are off the plane and in country. But judging by the amount of guns and journalists around it's not another country, it's another world; no matter how much you follow the American game, sometimes you forget what the game is like in the rest of the world.

Feilhaber's 09 Is Like Waaaaaaay Better Than His 08


They say Benny Feilhaber is having a breakout year for both club & country. Who's they you say? SBI. As I have no idea what the hell he's doing in Denmark --and let's be honest here, without actually seeing his games on TV who does-- I'll just take their word for it. As for his performance with the nats I'd say he has been quite good but not standout to me; I think if I were "Blue Eyes" Bradley I would start Stu Holden ahead of him in Dempsey absence and maybe bring him in off the bench late tomorrow night.

Sorry. I just realized that no one asked me what I thought and I just drifted into "random blogger who has no more access or knowledge than anyone else but still feels the need to give analysis like he's Bobby McMahon or something-mode". My bad.

Video: Fahrenheit 2010 Trailer

World Cup 2010 gets the expose-esque documentary treatment from South African filmmaker Craig Tanner and Levitation Films. It already caused a bit of a stir at the Durban International Film Festival and looks to repeat the trick worldwide upon it's release (date TBD).

According to the filmmakers "Fahrenheit 2010 cuts through the hype, with an uncompromising examination of what the World Cup means for South Africans themselves - in particular, who actually stands to benefit from the diversion of millions of dollars to build 21st century sports arenas in a country in which, 15 years after throwing off apartheid’s yoke, millions live in shacks and have no access to water – a South Africa where life expectancy has plummeted to below that of Ethiopia."

With a description like that this could really go either way: it could be a revelation like Morgan Spurlock's Super Size Me or a waste of time like Jan Paul Oller's paranoid and poorly-executed attempt at a World Cup '94 expose, The Cup of Death. Doesn't matter though as the footie geek in me won't let me not see it; soccer, it's just like Britney said in that one song...I'm a slaaaaaaave for you.


Extra Time: Episode 33 Act 3

Team Extra Time talking about World Cup qualifiers and their impact on MLS matches this week.

Kickin' It With Allen "Hip" Hopkins

I'm sure no one else cares but it has just hit me that Allen Hopkins looks exactly like my college roommate, Stereolab Dave. I am speechless.

NYT: Nick Zimmerman is No Carrie Bradshaw


Check out this week's Physical Culture in the New York Times Style section; Jack Bell has co-opted it for the soccer agenda and has put together a piece (with a slideshow) featuring RBNY rookie Nick Zimmerman. The kid road tests a few boots from Under Armour, Concave, Joma, Lotto and Nomis.

My personal favorite of the bunch (not that I have tried all of these brands) is the Under Armor Dominate Pro FG. Couple that with a Nike T90 ball and the Nike Tiempo shorts and I'm straight. Mind you none of these items no matter how much I like them will hide the fact that I am a horrible soccer player but I just like what I like.

Totally unrelated, I like this.

Video: U.S. vs Honduras Press Pass Preview

Enjoy the preview from ESPN because you certainly aren't going to see the game on ESPN (or anywhere else without a cover charge). If you are in LA though may I recommend you get down with the Galaxy's viewing party at the Off Campus Pub in Carson, one of only two venue's in SoCal that will be carrying the game (and the only one in English).

As the team tells it, for your $15 cover charge you will get "to watch the U.S. game, while also receiving a coupon good for a complementary beverage of your choice and a supporter’s section ticket to the Galaxy’s regular season finale against San Jose on Saturday, October 24." Now that is what I call a real recession special (sorry Gray's Papaya, but your two hot dogs and a drink deal looks absolutely trifflin' now).

NSR: NIN x Gary Numan

Forget for a minute how played "Cars" is, that Gary Numan is 51 years old & wearing black nail polish and that Trent Reznor's sweaty ass is probably only one drip into his keyboard away from electrocuting himself on stage. What I'm feeling from this is the roving on-stage camera; it almost makes you feel like you are part of the band except for the fact that you won't get a check or a groupie for watching this.

I'd like to see ESPN adapt this idea for soccer coverage and maybe stick a tiny helmet-cam on the refs. It will never happen but it would result in some unique, up-close footage; it could also give an insight as to how a ref saw a controversial call. Somehow I just don't think Sepp Blatter would ever let this happen though.

Video: Around the World with Soccernet

Shaka Hislop and one of the 117 random Britons employed by ESPN take us around the globe in 6+ minutes and bring us up to speed on World Cup qualification: who's in and who doesn't have a chance in hell. Portugal might fall into the later category which would mean CR7 would miss the chance to display his wares on the sport's biggest stage. It also means that the spray-tan and hair gel industries will miss out on the chance to display their wares on the sport's biggest stage as well.

RevsTV: TT's Cosmo Shoot

Ladies of New England, behold the Massachusetts Mack Daddy of the Month courtesy of RevsTV. Sure he's not a Celtic or a Red Sock but he is a pro athlete who makes pretty good money. He is also single. He also likes his ladies in “any white top,” a pair of jeans and high heels so if you can handle that you at least have a shot. And I don't mean to speak for TT but it probably wouldn't hurt if you are Meghan Fox as well.

I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me...

A bit of random freestylin' for you. I have no idea who the kid is but he's got some skills and so does the stalker/private detective who filmed this. I'm a sucker for style and this has it in spades; judging by the date on the video, they also have a time machine.


Your Americans Outsourced To Europe Report™

Eddie Johnson is getting playing time in Europe and Gooch is on the bench? First the Fat Boys break up now this? There just ain't nothin' you can believe in anymore.

MLS Final Kick Week 29

Can you believe Week 29 is here? Seems like only yesterday that we were all up in the all-star game and waiting for the return of Circus Beckham. Where has the time gone...

Extra Time: Episode 33 Act 1

Shep returns in time for MVP and playoff talk. Where the hell was he anyway? Trying on luxurious fur coats? Waiting for the milkman? Was he just staring provocatively into the distance? Maybe it was all of the above.