FCD Finds Another Diamond in Their Brazilian Mine

A nice intro video from FC Dallas on thier new number 10, David Ferreira. The Colombian international joined the club this week in Brazil --where they are holding pre-season camp-- from sister club CAP. Seems like FCD is the one team that's really out to use thier partnership with a foreign club to bring in players; Ferreira is the third player to move from Curitiba to Big D in the last 3 years (Ricardinho and Andre Rocco being the other two). Meanwhile we're still waiting for Real Madrid & Arsenal to send somebody over to get Rocky Mountain high.

Marked Men: Episode 2

More dedicated Dynamo talk from Brian Balboa and Raheel Ramzanali. This week we find out what's in a name (in case you didn't already know).


Forbes.com Rips Becks a Moneyed New One


"Beckham Punks Out." That's the title of Forbes.com's blog post on David Beckham today. Kinda crass, but so much more awesome that it came from a publication as uppity as Forbes. The only thing in the piece that equals the first line is the last line: "Never offer a big contract to an athlete that has a line of fragrances." Words to live by people, words to live by.

NSR: This is How You Make a Music Video


Creepy, creepy, creepy. I won't post it here but it's one of those videos that makes you go "Oh Sh*t!" at the end. If you're curious you can watch it at my day job.

An M. Night Shyamalan-Esque Man U Video

Watch the whole thing (or at least beyond the first two minutes). It's not what you think.

This Video Will Have You Asking "WTF Did I Just See?"

Question: Which of these individuals makes a totally incongruous appearance in the new music video by comedian-turnt-actor-turnt-singer Jamie Foxx?

A) Career bad MF Samuel L. Jackson
B) SNL legend Garret Morris
C) Vocorder O.G. T-Pain
D) Actor Jake Gyllenhaal
E) Actor/Comedian Bill Bellamy
F) Tatiana Ali aka lil' Ashley Banks for Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
G) Acclaimed director Ron "Richie Cunningham" Howard
H) Music legend Quincy Jones
I) Grey's Anatomy star Kathryn Heigl
J) Queen of all things indie Chloe Sevigny
K) Cedric the Entertainer
L) Oscar-winning actor Forrest Whitaker
M) A Panda
N) All of the above

If ever there was a lesson in not doing things just because you can, this is it. Still, it's kinda great to see Opie holding up a glass of champagne in the club as paper rains down from the rafters. Play on playa.

Today Show Gets All Footie Friendly

Al Roker & Co. getting WPSy on the Today Show. And I'm digging Hope Solo's new bad-girl hairdo. I wonder if she has tattoos.

Nevada Smith's: The Movie

If you're a New York footie freak chances are that at some point in your career you've started your morning drinking at 7 a.m. and stumbled drunkenly out of the comfortable darkness of Nevada Smiths ("Where Football is Religion") and into the harsh light of morning by 11 a.m. It's just the done thing.

In 2007 Yale student Nisha Lingon spent some time in the legendary bar documenting the various supporters, crazies and ex-pats that frequent NYC's church of soccer, including the ringmaster of the entire boozy circus, Nevada Smith's bartender/Director of Football (seriously, that's his title) Jack Keane. Press 'play' of you've got 10 minutes.

Sounders Holding Their Own on Seattle Sports Landscape


I promise you that I have not altered that photo in any way. Dan Schlatter at Seattle Business Journal took it for this piece about how the Sounders are outselling the Mariners in season tickets. That is truly incredible to me; I never thought I'd see the day that an MLS team was outselling an MLB team in anything except maybe branded soccer balls. Somebody pass me the Kleenex.


Video: CASA Horsens Arena

The new CASA Arena in Horsens, Denmark. Only 10k seats, but wicked design.


Video: It's Called Football

Here's one-hour of hot soccer talk with the 2-man, 1-woman Canuckistani footie chat wrecking crew that is It's Called Football. In this episode Nick De Santis drops by to discuss the Montreal Impact ahead of their CONCACAF Quarterfinal match tonight. There's also some Miami and Montreal expansion real talk. A nice prelude to tonight's massive CCC match.

Video: FC Dallas Adds Some Firepower To Training

Don't think about it, just answer it. Who would you most like to take a point blank shot at with this thing?

I'm On The Freddie Ljungberg Rehab Regiment


I didn't know it but when I went to Alexander McQueen's show at New York Fashion Week to ogle models about 2 weeks ago, I was "rehabilitating". That's what they are calling it these days, or at least that's what Freddie Ljungberg is calling it when he's attending Vivienne Westwood's show at London Fashion Week. I'm certainly not picking on him, dude is living the life. If only we all had to juggle playing footie for a living with being attractive enough to get invited to watch other, even more attractive people walk around.

Testify! Footie Freaks Speak Up In Portland


If you're as obsessed with MLS Expansion Death Race 3000™ as I am, then PDX players The 107 Report have given up the good stuff today; one hour of public testimony from last night's meeting of the city's Major League Soccer Task Force. If you're not a Timbers fan or you're not particularly caught up with the roller coaster ride that is expansion, you might have better things to do with 60 minutes. I'm still pulling for Portland, so I had to have a listen. What's going to be your excuse?

Shout out to Michael P. for the link!

Video: 2008 Favorite RBNY Goals

Red Bull New York players recounting their favorite goals of the year? Surprisingly there's no love for Jozy.


Video: RSL's Will Johnson Advert

Another day, another stellar Real Salt Lake advert from Wagenen & Halasim. Brilliant stuff although I'm torn on which is prettier, the footage or Will Johnson's goal. RSL definitely made the right move getting these guys to do work for them.

The Merritt Paulson Stump Speech Might Need Some Work


Portland Timbers owner Merritt Paulson took his case for public money for the proposed improvements to PGE Park (and to build a new AAA baseball park) and MLS expansion to the people. He laid out his case in an editorial column for The Oregonian today; judging by the comments to the article though, he's going to have to shake a lot more hands and kiss every one of the octuplet mom's babies to sell this to some people.

Soccernet's Joe Gaetjens Piece


American soccer's original giant killer y'all...the legacy lives on. R.I.P

Rollin' With Ricketts Rolls Through Florida

Despite what Johann Smith will tell you, the show has not been canceled.

Can't Believe I'm Saying It, But I'm Feeling Giorgio Chinaglia This Morning

How can you not dig this sh*t in the morning? This is the sound of angels whispering the secret to Messi's brilliance in your ear while inhaling an entire tank of laughing gas. It's just so giddy & pretty. In my mind the video has a young Giorgio frolicking in a pristine, sunlit Alpine field with a nubile young lady with high-waist bell bottoms and 70's boobs cradled snug yet loose in a terrycloth sweater.

But it it can't all be sweetness and light. What would a Giorgio Chinaglia single be without a little bit of ego tripping? Check the chorus of "I'm the best in all the world, I'm the strongest of them all"; now is that some pre-Weezy swagger or plain ol' self-aggrandizing delusion? Either way, it's positively Giorgio.

Miami FC Deathwatch Has Officially Begun


Oh South Florida. It seems that that place is doomed, Doomed, DOOMED to go through pro soccer franchises like Oasis goes through drummers. Last week expectations began to lower in regards to Barcelona's planned Florida outpost. This week it's Miami FC --the city's USL 1 side-- that may have started warming up car with an eye on getting the hell out of town.

Various bigwigs, potentates and footie folks got together all Justice League-style last night to try and keep the team's ownership group from pulling the plug before the start of the 2009 USL season. They've got only two weeks to reach a few seemingly insurmountable goals before the brass gives up and Miami FC joins the Miami Fusion, the Miami Gatos, the Ft. Lauderdale Strikers, the Miami Americans, the Miami Sharks/Freedom, the Miami Toros, the Florida Stars, the South Florida/Ft. Lauderdale Sun and the awesomely named Florida Thundercats in the defunct South Florida soccer teams graveyard. Sportswriters, start composing your eulogies now.


Video: New RSL Advert Deja Vu

That is the new Real Salt Lake season tickets advert for 2009. Look familiar? Congrats to Van & Isaac on going legit!

Video: Brian Ching on Marked Men

The first installment of the new Dynamo-centric "Marked Men" show. Is it me or do all sports radio guys have the same voice?

What's Under Steve Zakuani's Bed


The Sounders number one draft pick lifts up his mattress and presents page one of his rookie diary for Soccernet. I wonder who he's going to take to the prom? Someone from the Sounders Sound Wave marching band I bet because you know what some band chicks are like.

Video: JPA Returns To The Scene of Former Glory

Red Bulls Reader comes through with some excellent footage of Juan Pablo Angel, in Argentina for the club's pre-season training, and his heroes return to River Plate's El Monumental stadium. Pre-game & post-game interviews with a bit of the match atmosphere in the middle. Good stuff.

NSR: Depeche Mode's Live Return is Just "Wrong"

Did you ever see that skit on Chappelle's Show where the black NYC cop hears the beginning of Poison's "Every Rose Has It's Thorn", throws up his hands in the air and screams "Oh! That's my sh*t right there!" then looks at Chappelle all apologetically and says "I can't help it, I grew up in the suburbs." DM is kinda like that for me except I didn't grown up in the suburbs but within earshot of one of the first radio stations in America to adopt an alternative format, Dallas' KDGE 94.5 "The Edge". And if you are a person of a certain age who is familiar with this station you know that this means you listened to DM more than you listened to your own mother.

They have a new album dropping this spring and a European stadium/U.S. arena tour this summer & autumn. Wear something black and nostalgic (or even Black Nostaljack if you wanna be contrary) and you'll fit right in. The clip above is from thier perfomance of new single "Wrong" at the German Grammy's this past weekend.

Cunningham's Missed CCL Sitter Not Forgotten


So it looks like the Canadians are taking this whole CONCACAF Champions League thing waaaaay more seriously than anyone else. If the whole of Le Plateau buying tickets for Montreal's match on Wednesday night (over 45K have been sold so far) wasn't enough of an indication, the Toronto Sun personally blaming Jeff Cunningham for TFC's elimination kinda seals it. Crazy. It's like soccer is a real, live, professional sport up there with heaps of interested fans and journalists prone to fits of overzealous, half-baked finger-pointing. If only someone could figure out how they do that up there.

Grant Wahl's Beckham Piece for SI Is Basically Awesome


For some time now, SI.com's Grant "I was on Charlie Rose once" Wahl has been working on a book about Beckham's time in America entitled "The Beckham Experiment". I haven't heard it from Grant himself --I don't really know him but I've sat in the same room with him on many occasions--but people tell me he was given a decent amount of access to Becks, his people & and the Galaxy organization for the project.

Now you guys know that I'm something of a cat-lady when it comes to footie books, but I don't own any of the 439 books about David Beckham that are currently on the market. But if the writing is as good and informative as this piece he just did for this week's print issue of SI, I will however buy Grant's book (and maybe this one). You should read the whole thing but here's two juicy bits from the piece that made me pre-order the book from Random House.

Juicy bit number one: "In a move that was never publicized by the team, Beckham's best friend and then personal manager, Terry Byrne, became a paid consultant for the Galaxy and conducted the coaching search that led to the hiring of Ruud Gullit, whose reign of error torpedoed L.A.'s 2008 season. (Byrne was dropped when Gullit was forced out last August, leaving Beckham in a sour mood toward the Galaxy.)" Now that is messed up. If you know your NASL history, you know that's a Giorgio Chinaglia-level of player-meddling in front office business...and you know how well that turned out.

Juicy bit number two: As captain Beckham,"The man who captained England for five years never called one team meeting during L.A.'s nosedive last season." Wow. So much for bringing that much-coveted veteran leadership to the team.


Video: Advice From Uncle Alexi

Go and grab your kids from the other room and sit them down in front of the computer. Alexi Lalas has some sage wisdom & advice them and luckily none of it relates to how to run a soccer team.

This Just In: World Cup 2010 Tickets On Sale Today!

Credit cards at the ready everyone, World Cup 2010 tickets went on sale today. I know, I'm as surprised as you are. Hey, someone keep an eye on Jack Warner today mkay?

Chicago Says "Hola" From Mexico

Chicago's road to opening day took a turn south...of the border. More footage from the trip here...in Spanish.

RBNY off to Argentina Today


RBNY are heading down to Argentina later today for 2 weeks of training and hopefully some good wine & amazing steak. The unconfirmed word is that in addition to attending games at La Bombonera and El Monumental, they'll be playing Argentinos Juniors on March 3rd and Boca Juniors on March 6th. At least that's what I hear, but RBNY hasn't released the club's itinerary for the trip yet so we'll see.

Video: Seattle Thursday Practice Video

These clips from the Sounders are just so official. While lowering the standard for playing surfaces & stadium size, dudes are certainly raising the bar for online team-generated reporting. So I guess it all evens out (OK, not really but I'd like to be nice to the new kid).


And Speaking of Canuckistan...

How's your French these days? Might want to brush up before February 25th.

Video: Serbs & Croats Keep It Balkan in T.O.

Damn y'all, there is some impressive tifo in this clip at about the 1:16 mark. Is this how they do it for Toronto's "ethnic" teams? They know the war is over right? Canuckistani's, please educate me about the CSL because I know nothing; I know the video is a few season old but is this kind of display typical or the exception?

KHOU & The Dynamo Offer Divorce in a Box This Weekend

Houston's KHOU is offering 18 glorious hours (if you area Houston fan that is) of Dynamo programming this weekend. We're talking classic matches, Glenn Davis' Dynamo All-Access show, the coaches Dynamo Insider show, Backstage Pass: Dynamo Girls Tryouts...the whole shebanga-bang. It all kicks off tomorrow night with 6 hours of orange-tinted programming. So yeah, tonight might be a good night to stock the fridge and make a preemptive flower purchase for your missus. And perhaps some of those adult diapers that astronauts & grannies wear might not be a bad idea either.

MLSnet, Now Available in Smokey Bacon Flavor.

Because everything is better with bacon. FACT.

Extra Time on the Comeback Players for 2009

The Extra Time Clique (that's their street name they use when they're up in the club) on the comeback players for 2009. For the sake of showing that I am equally capable of praise and picking on someone, I'm going to go with Taylor Twellman. Hopefully he'll use this song as his theme music to his success.

And Speaking of Bruce Arena...

Nothing gets you pumped like bad Euro-dance music (I won't call it "techno" because that is just plain disrespectful to Underground Resistance, Jeff Mills, Derrick May and the rest of Detroit). And no one gets pumped like Bruce Arena. Put them together and it's like mainlining Rip Fuel and trucker speed through your eyes and ears at the same time.

Klinsmann Hasn't Given Up On Keeping Landon Donovan


Somewhere in deepest, darkest Germany Juergen Klinnsman is standing below Landon Donovan's window holding aloft a boombox that is playing this song loud enough to wake up Karl-Heinz Rummenigge aka Ol' Sexy Knees from his drunk-with-power induced sleep. Seems Klinnsy just can't quit our Landon. If Donovan gets his sh*t tight it looks like there could be a love triangle involving The Bruce.

Video: Up Close & Personal With A Guy From Jersey Who Abandoned His Country, Who BTW Could Really Use The Help at Striker, In Favor of Glory-Seeking



Inter To Enter Canada, Utah. Allegedly.


Edmonton? Hunh. Interesting. And Utah? Maybe. Hunh.

Video: Tommy Smythe, ESPN On The MLS Stacks

You can pretty much ignore the "Is he really back with LA?" bit at the beginning of the clip because that seems to change by the day. More interesting is the money talk in the middle. As the Leprechaun™ points out, MLS is a frugal league to begin with so while it may have to make some cutbacks it may not suffer as bad as some other sports during the recession; if you're used to eating off of the McDonald's dollar menu it ain't no thing to start eating Ramen...but if you dine on steak & lob on the regular, it's haaaaaard to start doing your grocery shopping at the dollar store.

Video: Some Jerry Talking About Landon

I used to date a girl named Holly who spoke German. She really thought it was a sexy language and would bust it out from time to time during the whole seduction process. Now maybe it's because I watch too many WWII films and could play Medal of Honor and Call of Duty 'til the Berlin Wall falls, but when I hear that language I immediately think "Must. Use. Bayonet." It's just so unattractive to me, even if it's being cooed from Heidi Klum's mouth with a riding crop between her teeth.

Anyway, I have no idea what this dude is on about but it's to do with Lando. Kraut-o-philes enjoy.

This Is The Audience Participation Portion of the Program


If you haven't seen it, click here and see the monstrosity that my boy Jerry Jones is building for America's Team. Coming in at over 660,000 cubic feet and 100,000 capacity it truly is the definition of the word "enormodrome". It is a monument to one of my home states most beloved stereotypes ('Everything's bigger in Texas') and I am in awe of it. If you really want to feel the scope & size of this behemoth, check out the inside and outside webcams.

Now, ol' Jonesy just let slip in an article about George Strait --I know, it's getting hella country around here real quick but stick with me-- that in addition to already securing several college football games, the NBA All-Star Game, an NCAA men's Final Four basketball tournament and the 2011 Super Bowl (which I am soooo going to) he's "also pursuing a large international soccer match for the summer, but the teams have not been finalized".

Feel free to speculate all you want in the comments as to what that game could be. I'm going to say that whatever it is, it WILL involve Mexico --who the hell else would fill anywhere close to 100K seats in Texas-- and it will be one of the latter rounds of the Gold Cup or the final itself.

Last Call For Van Halen Jokes: David Roth Cut


I've been sitting on this photo someone kicked down to me for quite a while, looking for an excuse to post about RBNY's David Roth. I met him once and he was quite funny so I thought at some point I could post something nice about him. Unfortunately, the only reason I have to post about him today is that he's been down-sized. Not that it is major, stop-the-virtual-presses news but I wish him well...hopefully he latches on somewhere else soon.

Everybody Hearts Juan Pablo Angel


Whilst wading through the 678 news pieces published today about the Beckhamgate™ fiasco, I ran across two articles about Juan Pablo Angel that really have me not feeling Davey Beckham right now. One from SI.com that points out that "Señor Ángel, whose class and professionalism on and off the field -- as well as 35 goals in 53 regular-season and playoff games -- sets the DP bar rather high, which is where it should be". Real Talk from Ridge Mahoney y'all.

The other thing I read was from RBNY's late-season phenom Danny Cepero. He said in a piece he wrote for The New York Times' Goal Blog that "the best words to describe Juan Pablo are “class” and “professional" ". You know you are doing something right when your teammates will dedicate 2,831 words in the NYT to testifying to your greatness.

Video: Extra Time With Shep & Greg

Greg, Shep & Shep's mustache on strikers and whatnot.


Pan Pacific Championship: It's Tomorrow and it's Tony

God bless Tony Sanneh. He's still taller than Gooch wearing platform shoes standing atop a pile of Landon's possibly-fading European dreams and he still wants to play despite the fact that he is aged (for a footballer at least). But you guys gotta help me out with something here: does he have one of those hang-down, handlebar mustaches or are those jowl lines?

In case you forgot, the Galaxy and star midfielder Eddie Lewis kick off 2009 tomorrow night at in the 2nd annual Pan Pacific Championships. Set your DVRs to "Damn, that kickoff is just too late for a workday".

What's Cooking In New England? Food, Apparently.


I'm not sure what's going on in revs land but it all seems to be about food as of late. The other day TT, Albright & a few others were getting all Emril on us and making mustard crusted rack of lamb served with goat cheese stacked potatoes and pink peppercorn au jus, which sounds infinitely better than the stadium dog & soggy nachos they serve at Gillette.

To add some salt to the pepper, now there's video of Matt "Jim Halpert" Reis conducting experiments with Jello that only a foot fetishist would approve of. Still, a Jello jersey sponsorhip would be kinda rad, especially if they had shot girls on game day. J.E.L.L.O yeah.

NSR: Tough Alliance Really Aren't So Tough

So my obsession for the last few days has been Sweden's The Tough Alliance and I have watched the interesting, yet random promo reel above something like 7 times trying to figure this band out. If I were needing to take the easy route and describe them by genre, I'm not sure I could because there are bits of pop, fruity-assed tropical music and dub thrown into the late 80's Baeleric house mix a la New Order's Technique. But I think the best way to describe them is as "makers".

They make Wham look positively butch. They make headlines in Sweden for flirting with hooligan-esque imagery. They make music that is confusing on the first listen and essential by the third listen. They make video tributes to ODB and the Italian national team. They also make thier own clothes (which surprisingly isn't bad at all). They made a stadium recording of "You'll Never Walk Alone" the outro on one of their albums. I also suspect they made the video for "Neo-Violence" whilst taking pills.

Video: Austin Aztex Advert

You just knew they were gonna put a cowboy in it, you just knew it.

TFCtv: Introducing O'Brien White

My brother-in-law calls me "the man with two first names". It is in the same spirit that O'Brien White will be heretofore be known at The Man With Two Last Names™ when referenced on T.O.R.


Video: Chivas Girl Tryouts

I tried to take the day off today. But who can resist.


ESPN Asks "Where Are The Hispanics?"

I apologize if T.O.R is starting to look like a farm team for Soccernet, but I'll be damned if they aren't pushing out some great content lately. They just dropped this 2 part micro-doc about the lack of Hispanic players in American soccer. I asked a similar, yet different question, over a year ago so I guess this is the response.

There certainly are Hispanic players in MLS and US Soccer, but not nearly the amount that you would think given the nation's demographics. Part one is above, while part 2 can be seen at The Kin of Fish.

Video: TFC TV Introduces Pablo Vitti

Voila, Vitti.

Miami Name Fernando Clavijo Director of Soccer


By my math --which is admittedly crap-- this is something of a lateral move. He was head coach of Colorado but now he's Director of Soccer (whatever that is), which is a lofty title that sounds like a step up. But he was in MLS and now he's in USL 1, so it's kind of a step down. Now throw in the weather factor and that it is Miami instead of Colorado and I think you come out with Miami being on top. But since Miami FC would most likely get pushed to the side if Barcelona get their expansion team next year, being in Miami kinda sucks.

Oh well. At least if Miami FC cease to exist in 2010 he can say that he didn't his job this time because his team was awful.

Happy Valentine's Day from T.O.R and Chunky Pam

I got a real special treat for you all today. Chunky Pam (also known as Pamgelina aka The Roley Poley Angelina Jolie aka Heavy Meadow Soprano aka The Chubby Wonder aka Lady Ricotta Erotica aka The Chocolate-Covered Strawberry Blonde aka Curvy Fergie aka The Camden Fantasy aka The Infamous P.A.M aka Bitchy Sambora aka The Dorito Diva) is coming through with a special Valentines Day message for you all. And here you though she was only around at XXXLmas time or when you hit up the Dirty Jersey.

Yet Another Classy Nike Advert

Brilliant, beautiful, bold. Once again Nike has upped the cinematic stakes for footie adverts with this Wieden + Kennedy produced advert featuring Arsenal and Man United. Lovely stuff really, particularly the sound design which was handled by mash-up O.G. Mark Viddler from Go Home Productions. You like?

Props to Charlie Noddables for the heads up.

NSR: Doves "Kingdom of Rust"

This is what I'm talking about. Doves are back with that north country twang and I'm super-stoked, partially because they are one of the best live acts around but mostly because my missus loves them and I may be able to use their return for my own nefarious, marital means.

Press Pass: "Mexico Lack That Killer Instinct"

They said it, not me. And in case you don't know you can watch the full Soccernet Press Pass show on ESPN Classic every Monday and Friday night at 7pm EST. Watch it or The Leprechaun gets it.


U.S.-U.K. O.K.


Even if David's done, these Brits are still going to do it. From The Daily Mail.

Have We Ever Talked About the Youri Djorkaeff Music Video?

Hey, have we ever talked about the Youri Djorkaeff music video? The man won a World Cup with France and will always be one of the best players in MetroBull history but I'll be damned if this doesn't belong in the hall of shame. On the positive side, it's no worse than Jordy.

NSR: Dirt Nasty's "1980"

First off, this is NSFW for sure. Secondly, this is just plain-assed ignorant but funny. And lastly, does anyone give a damn about Dirt Nasty, Andre Legacy, Mickey Avalon or Schwayze east of Orange County?

I certainly don't but a line like "I shine like Morrissey, on Hennessy, on Christmas eve" is pure gold.

Video: How Is This Major League Again?

Ruthlessly perky Columbus morning television anchors + Pepe LePeux hamming it up while masquerading as the Crew mascot = the shame of the New Soccer Nation.

Photo of the Day: Red Bull Arena Aerials


My man Fishkin hipped me to the site for WCBS's chopper-cam. They have aerial shots of all 243 sports stadiums that are currently under construction in the New York City area, including Red Bull Arena. A nice peek for all you stadium p0rn enthusiasts.

Last Night's Party: JP & Harkes Final Word

Seriously, all of the video content from ESPN over the last few days has been fantastic. Big shouts to the Bristol, CT crew on this one; for an organization that supposedly hates soccer, they really gave it a good look. More please.

Last Night's Party: Pedro Gomez, U.S. Players Fete Michael Bradley

What else can you say...baby's all growed up, baby's all growed up.

Video: Frankie Hejduk Slapped By Mexican Coach, Fracas Insues

Holy sh*t! That's Mexico assistant coach Paco Ramirez slapping Frankie Hejduk accross the face. Amazing. Even thier coaches play dirty. I'd love to see what would happen if he tried to lay hands on a player outside of the relatively secret world of the tunnel.

H/T to Off The Post

Video: Last Night's Party

2-0. It really is quite comical now...unless you support Mexico.


U.S. vs. Mexico: The End of Hype

This was the scene at Cladagh in Columbus last night. I'm heading down to Nevada Smith's in Mahattan to do my damnedest to help repeat it tonight. So let's quit talking about it and let's go and do it. Signing off...see you on the other end of the match.

U.S. vs. Mexico: Limited Edition Footwear Hype


If you think this limited edition Deuce Dempsey boot looks good now, imagine how pretty it will look firmly planted in Marquez's backside. So fresh, so clean.

U.S. vs. Mexico: Majestic Ginger Hype

It's an Alexi Lalas two-fer today. Earlier in the day he took your questions and then, from the looks of this video, he was hustled over to a sound stage where the interviewer asked some of the exact same questions. But surely His Ginger Majesty™ is kidding when he says that U.S. are the only ones under pressure in this game. I'm sure Sven wishes this were the case...apparently he hasn't seen the Mexican papers. They're acting like it's the end of the world down there.

And did anyone else notice the tattoo on Landon's wrist in the video still above? Has he had that for a while or did Becks put him up to that one boozy night on the Venice Beach boardwalk?

U.S. vs. Mexico: The Weather Report Hype


Oh the weather outside might be frightful...

Video: Too Much Time to Kill at Preseason Camp

I saw this clip of Kevin Goldwaite and Andrew Boyens making "a friendly wager" over who could kick a ball over a fence on Red Bulls Reader. I don't want to ruin it but let me just say to Kevin Goldwaite that, as nice a guy as you are, you are no Chris "Finchy" Finch; he's thrown a kettle over a pub, what have you ever done?

Video: Live from the North Jersey Brigade Bus En Route to C-Bus

More content from the Road to Columbus. Somewhere in central Pennsylvania mouth's are singing, heads are being crushed and sombrero's are being worn with an eye out for thieves. Too much fun for me.

K.C. Goes D.C., Now Has Multiple Argentines


You will all be shocked to know that despite outward appearances there are things going on in the U.S. soccersphere today that don't actually pertain to the Rumpus in Columbus™. For instance Kansas City are sneaking around and signing Argentine midfielders while no one is looking. Hopefully he is more Christian Gomez than Franco Caraccio.

Live from the Road to Columbus


Do not adjust your monitors. That photo should be blurry because the guy in it is probably blind drunk at the moment. He's Matthew Schneiderman and he is a North Jersey Brigade legend. He was also the initial inspiration for the ESC's Drunk of the Week award and has been immortalized in a scarf for his courageous experiments with alcoholic beverages while wearing a tri-corner hat.

Anyway this photo was sent to me from the NJB bus which is currently hurtling toward Columbus. When this picture was snapped and sent to me it was 8:48 a.m and Mr. Schneiderman had just finished his 10th Jaegerbomb of the morning; it's gonna be a long day for him.

How are you spending the day of the big game? Feel free to share in the comments or send me your photos or video. As for me I'm spending the day juggling real work, this and trying to resonably contain my excitement for tonight...but I'm not doing a very good job of balancing these things methinks.

Alexi Lalas Wants to Hear From You


His Ginger Majesty™ will be available for hot soccer chat at 2pm EST today over at Soccernet. You really should send in your questions because it is highly likely that he'll give a controversial answer that will be picked up by some lazy wire service or another. Just don't ask him about his tattoo (we've already covered that.)

U.S. vs. Mexico: Straight from the Players Mouth Hype

Gooch, Carlos Blearynegra, The Missing Link™, Deuce, Timbo and Chingy (the player, not the playa) with a little real talk on respect and other issues in relation to sombrero theft. Drink it in, y'all.

U.S. vs. Mexico: Stand Up & Testify Hype

More excellent video for ESPN. In this one Timbo & Bocanegra testify to the intensity of the beef with Mexico while JP & Harkesy testify to the results that Landon Donovan always seems to deliver against El Tri. Oh, and a reminder that Oswaldo Sanchez is dirtier than a 2 a.m. hook up in the toilets with a questionable piece of Las Vegas ass.

U.S. vs. Mexico: The Old School Hype

Cobi Jones and Bruce Arena wax nostalgic on U.S. vs Mexico both on video and in print. Hopefully the spirit of '02 will be with the boys tonight in C-bus; somebody should have clipped one of Cobi's locks and stuffed it in his socks for good luck.


Video: Bleary Bocanegra Creeps Out the Nation on ESPN News

Can someone please get Carlos Bocanegra some VISINE®? Dude's got amphetamine eyes and is obviously as tired as Kanye's glasses because he doesn't even understand the first question that is asked of him. Poor 'Los...must soooo jet-lagged. I ain't baggin' on him though, I'd just like to see him get proper ocular care in exchange for his service to country (and ESPN News) so he doesn't look like the walking dead on national television. Is that too much to ask?

U.S. vs. Mexico: The SI Photo Hype


If you have a minute head to SI.com and check out their photo essay on the Top 10 U.S.-Mexico match ups. I disagreed with the greatness of a few of their selections, but that's most likely because I fail to see anything great in the U.S. getting clocked 4-0 by anyone, let alone Mexico. Good thing I'm not a journalist otherwise I would have to feign impartiality about all this.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered: Convey to the 'Quakes


It's finally official: Convey is coming to San Jose. No word on the bird though.

Seattle Thinks It better Call Tyrone


Jamaica's Tyrone Marshall, who is in London with the Reggae Boyz for their match versus Nigeria tomorrow, has been shipped off to Seattle from Toronto. Congratulations Portland fans, you now have your inside man on the Sounders.

U.S. vs. Mexico: The Gooch Hype


The Columbus Dispatch with the tale of the Big Man. Also, today would be a good day to brush up on the Onyewu Anthem because when it comes to theme music, "every good hero should have some".

Video: Studio 90 News

I'm feeling sick today so I'll let Bob & the boys do the talking...about the weather and the rivalry.


This Just In: Christian Gomez Back to D.C.


D.C. says that he's back because "he's good at soccer". While that may be true I think the real reason is because you can't really get away with these long-ass shorts/short-ass pants/capri's/man-culottes in Colorado. It just doesn't work.

Houston v. FC Dallas: A Goldenboy Production


Damn y'all. There is no love between the Texas sides, even in the pre-season. If it's all double ejections and Brek Shea (that's him on all fours, sucking wind) gettin' punished by the rough justice of Brian Mulla's fist, their regular season games might turn into some UFC sh*t. Don't these guys know that soccer fans are alleged to be the violent ones, not soccer players? Surely this is De La Hoya's influence.

U.S. vs. Mexico: The Press Pass Preview

It's lunchtime so put down that TPS report and have a little "you time". Grab a sandwich, some chips and the beverage of your choice and spend 6:02 with The Leprechaun and his mates at ESPN Press Pass; this is the only match preview you will need. Unless you want a Spanish-speaking take on the Hex.

Video: US Men Practice in Columbus

T-minus 57 hours and counting.


VIDEO: First Kick 2009 Promo

Here is the new promo for MLS First Kick 2009. Note the lack of Becks or Donovan so the writing may indeed be on the wall.

Kenny Powers Not on Steroids, Worst Person That Ever Lived

Feb. 15th. Mark your calendars.

And Now a Few Words From Sacha Kljestan

That Orange County kid gives up his thoughts on Chivas USA's past & future and the national team's almost-overwhelming 2009 calendar. Sadly he refrained from giving us his thoughts on this season's cast of The Real World: Brooklyn.

Extra Time's Red Bulls Special

Everybody's got needs and from what I have seen on television it is best to address them. Otherwise you end up bitter, divorced and paying child support while your kid calls some other guy with a ponytail "Daddy". I'm pretty sure that scenario is in no way applicable to a soccer team, but RBNY should still think of it as a cautionary tale and address their off-season needs.

What are those needs exactly? I dunno, ask Shep & Greg.


Chris Leitch: Gone Fishin'

In case you are wondering, RBNY's Chris Leitch's birthday is April 1st. And if you are also wondering what to get him, I think a gift card to Bass Pro Shops would do nicely.

Video: Revs Rookie Zack Simmon's Testimony to College

Meet Zack Simmons. He's a goalie out of UMass who recently signed for New England and he seems like a nice kid. Much nicer than that Matt Reis who's always walking around with that "I wish you would" look on his face. Mind you if you are a keeper that "wish factor" can go a long way.

Tommy Smythe Tackles the Becks Debacle on First Take

The leprechaun plays to the conspiracy theorist in us all and implies that the truth is out there and that all you need to do is look at the length of the loan deal to know that this was a premeditated move. He also points out the positives of Beckham's time in MLS as well if you want to hear them.

Tonight Tonight: Red Bull Snowboarding's Fantastic Fiasco

I don't know what y'all got going on tonight but if you are in NYC this is going to be jump off. Literally. Red Bull Snow Scrapers = snowboarders Shaun White, Travis Rice, and Terje Haakonsen + bands Anthrax & Black Gold + a park behind the projects in the Lower East Side + a nine story death-ramp + me watching it all from a yacht in the East River. The New York Times tells it much better than I do though.

If you're not in NYC but still would like the opportunity to see a potential winter sports-related death, the whole shebang will be streamed live at Go211.com. Can't wait.

Dynamo PR: "Felix Garcia Has Returned to Laredo...There Is No Timetable For His Return"

Does he really want to finish high school or is it a touch of buyer's remorse on behalf of Master Garcia? Perhaps he got a 3am phone call from The Biggest Midget in the Game™ saying "Don't do it!"? Or maybe it's Beckham's fault (he is now my Designated Scapegoat)? Either way, the Laredo kid ain't coming to Houston just yet.

Sealy. Out.


Former K.C. and S.J. striker Scott Sealy has made a move to Israel. The dude from Trinidad & Tobago has signed for IFA heavyweights Maccabi Tel Aviv and will hopefully bring some much-needed carnival vibes to the Holy Land. On behalf of no one but myself, thank you for your contribution to the game in America and best of luck to you.

Red Bull Insider's Exclusive Arena Construction Update


Start your morning off right with 4:54 of the finest stadium p0rn New Jersey (and Red Bull Insider) have to offer. It's definitely no sharp stick in the eye.