Sleep With CR7, Get a Permanent Escort From the Paparazzi

Everyone --even Gossip Girl!-- knows that if you bone Cristiano Ronaldo you will be forever stalked like a gazelle on the savannah. She also knows that you may also receive and all expense-paid trip to the free-clinic. But the big questions is what happens if you hook up with Christian Gomez? Can you at least get a three episode arc on The Real World: D.C.? Inquiring minds want to know.

H/T to Sports Crackle Pop.