Danleigh Borman Wants Fame, Friends, Curry & Obama

South Africa's Danleigh Borman is a bit of a mystery to me. He had a couple of weeks in May where his sex was on fire and I thought he might become a regular starter but then just as quickly he was back on the bench. Still though, he's shown flashes --at least to my untrained eye-- of some real skill that might well benefit RBNY and the Bafana Bafana.

There is a fairly in-depth (if somewhat haughty and randomly Beckhamized) piece on him in The Times of South Africa today. It it he states that he's lonely, wants to be recognized on the street, homesick and has a desire (surprise!) to eventually play in Europe and to use MLS a springboard a la former Rapid and Metrostar Shaun Bartlett. Good luck to him but can you get RBNY past the opening round of the playoff's first? If you can do that I know cats who will pay for your plane ticket over there and your first trip to Ibiza.

NSR: Bloc Party Put On The Spot and Deliver

Those French freaks at La Blogotheque don't play. They spotted Bloc Party inside a Parisian watering hole a few days ago, put them on the spot and basically forced them to play a song for them so they wouldn't look like D-bags on camera. It's a guerrilla move for sure, but hey it's hard out there for the content-starved blogger. Regardless of the technique used to acquire it, this simple acoustic take on 'This Modern Love' was enough to remind me that their latest album "Intimacy" is now available. Go get it.

Video: Ultras Montréal

Maybe it's because I know that they probably don't speak English as a first choice or perhaps it's because they are kept behind a net like in some sort of sports zoo, but something about Ultras Montréal just seems so Euro-hooligan to me. There is one point about 2:21 into this video when they are all walking through the parking garage where it looks like an outtake from the "Stress" video. But these guys are a wee bit more tame than the feral little Frenchies in Justice's clip.

The Thursday Night Hype: MLS Greatest Playoff Moments

It's on y'all. All the hand-holding and grab-assin' of the regular season has finally come to a close and the bed is now set for an 8-team love-in of championship proportions. It's playoff time tonight on ESPN2 and I'm putting my money on Chicago; they showed up big against D.C. last year and they weren't half as good as they are right now. And New England's injury (Twellman, Ralston) and suspension (Smith, Badilla) issues certainly won't help the Rev's cause.

So enjoy the highlights of TT scoring in the clip above of some of the greatest playoff moments of the past few years...it may be the only post-season scoring you see of him this season.

Video: Extended Playoffs Edition of Extra Time

Shep says he doesn't even remeber last night: is it because he is olde or because he likes to party?

Video: Seattle's Marching Band is Already Tired

In my current state of bedriddeness(don't sleep on those flu shots kids) I've been catching up on my Youtube-watching. Is it just me or is the idea of a marching band for a soccer team a little off? I thought it was funny and eccentric when Drew Carey announced it but after hearing them in this clip, I think it would get old for me really quick. Does seem a little NASL or is it just me?

Video courtesy of the cats from GoalSeattle.

TFC Ownership Alledged To Be Talking GolTV Takeover

I have nothing to base the following on so take it --and everything else on TOR for that matter-- as merely one fan's random perspective. I was just reading this article in the Toronto Globe & Mail about how Toronto FC owners MLSE may be purchasing GolTV when the following line caught my attention: "It's conceivable that Toronto Blue Jays games could air on an MLSE channel nationally."

I don't know a thing about Canadian broadcast regulation but what's to say that TFC games couldn't air nationally? Or more to the point, what's to say that TFC and the games of an expansion team in Montreal or Vancouver couldn't air nationally? After all one of the things that's been metioned repeatedly by The Don and Ivan Gazidis is the need for a national MLS broadcast deal in Canuckistan. I'm just wondering out loud, but a sale like this has the potential to be very beneficial to Canadian expansion cause.

And maybe, just maybe Ray Hudson will bring his half-crazed ass back to the sidelines if John Carver holds true on his threats to leave if he doesn't get his DP. That would be nothing but entertainment!

Brad Friedel: Keeper, Baldie & Author

I just noticed that the Brad Friedel book, Thinking Outside The Box, is now listed (but not yet available for pre-order) on Amazon.com. I'm adding to my wish list just after Footballer's Haircuts.

And Now It's Time For a Public Service Announcement From Juan Pablo Angel

Freddie Ljungberg: Already Making a Media Splash

See here's the thing with signing Freddie Ljungberg. In addition to what he brings on the field, he brings a name and looks off the field. You can call me superficial if you like but I have to say that when Hollywood gossip sites as popular as Perez Hilton are reporting on still unconfirmed MLS transfer talk because you look better than me in a pair of underwear I ain't mad at you. The only other footballers that are ever on that site are Becks and CR7 so I say pimp him out like he's your best girl and behind on the rent.

Seriously, I want to see Freddie everywhere. On The View. On Ellen. Injured on a hospital gurney on Grey's Anatomy. Sneaking out of the bed of one of the Desperate Housewives. I want him to star in a Lifetime Original movie entitled Right-Footed, Half-Naked & Swedish: The Freddie Ljungberg Story. I want him to co-host a half-hour variety show with Wayne Brady. I want him on a half-hour variety show catching passes from Tom Brady. Sh*t, I wouldn't mind seeing him in a one-man, off-broadway production of The Brady Bunch.

Point is more MLS and U.S. Soccer players in the mainstream media is nothing but good, regardless of what you may think of Perez. At the end of the day who cares if I'm talking about Freddie Ljungberg; anyone who reads TOR is probably 100% converted to the game or at least flirting with footie. What we need is for Johnny Unconverted and Mary Jane Inside Edition to pay attention...and they watch Extra & read TMZ.

New Blog on the Block: Salt Lake Trib's RSL Blog

The Salt Lake Tribune becomes the latest newspaper to step into the MLS blog thunderdome. Launched just in time for RSL's debut playoff run and helmed by Micheal C. Lewis --not to be confused with NY soccer writer Michael Lewis, although they do like they could be relations-- this daily dose of soccer news, chatter and information makes a nice companion to Real Salt Lake's official team blog Behind the Shield. Check it out at blogs.sltrib.com/rsl/.

Video: Portsmouth Done by Duece

Here's something I hadn't seen in while. Clint Dempsey getting on both the pitch and the score sheet for Fulham. Who do I have to pay off to get more of this? Roy Hodgson, Mohamed al-Fayed or the Queen herself?

Video courtesy of 101 Great Goals.

Video: The Most Passionately Positive Chelsea Fan Ever

This video is relevant to nothing other than it is still funny months + months later, yeah.

Mark My Words: Seattle Will Have Highest Percentage of Female Fans

If --if-- Seattle are going to announce the signing of Freddie Ljungberg for 2009 next week, that would mean that MLS employs two part-time underwear models (Freddie for Calvin Klein, Becks for Armani). My prediction for a midfielder-model trifecta is as follows: Clint Mathis for Fruit of the Loom. You have no idea how funny/twisted the image I have in my mind of that ad campaign would be in your local Wal-Mart.

Image courtesy of Blogpig.

Something For The Weekend: The Clash Live @ Shea

After a 25 year wait, The Clash's legendary show at Shea Stadium finally got a proper release this week on CD. If you buy/borrow/download one album this weekend make it this one.

Video: LA Salutes Thier Recently Long-Suffering Fans

I always thought that the toughest job in American soccer was being a Metro supporter. The second toughest job? The guy who has to clean all of the facial hair out of the shower drains in the Galaxy locker room. Third toughest job? Galaxy season ticket holder...but at least you get a condolence video.

Video: TOR Director's Commentary of Chicago v. RBNY Highlights

Two things I found out about this morning. The first is that tequila and Lone Star DO NOT MIX. The second is that there's a new widget called Overlay TV that let's you add your own commentary, video and links to videos on Youtube and it's ilk. See above for my crap first stab at using it.

Video: FC Dallas v. LA Fail Preview

Match preview for what some people will have you believe is David Beckham's final MLS match Bobby Rhine's final MLS match. So long my son...thanks for all those happy, sweaty afternoon's boiling in the sun at the Cotton Bowl with Graziani and Pareja. Want to meet me at the Old Mill for old times sake?

Soccerballin' Outta Control...For Children's Sake

Metroplexers, hear me now. The Dallas branch of America Scores is gearing up for their annual Soccerball on November 7th and from what I can gather it's a great way to help kids who normally wouldn't have the chance gain access to after-school soccer and literacy programs. It is also a good opportunity to get dressed up with your missus, get your grown man on and take in a some good, expensive eats. Oh and their is an open bar so, uh yeah, I don't need to say anything else.

If you've got the cash to splash and and you were feeling it when Whitney Houston was all "I believe that children are our future" and whatnot, you can get your tickets here. If you'd like to get involved in Dallas --FC Dallas and The Inferno are down so why shouldn't you be?-- or in your city go here. Do it, for the kids.

Portland Timbers Owners In The Huffington Post

From Merritt-ocracy: The Paulson Sporting Doctrine by Dave Zirin at HuffingtonPost.com:

"Merritt [Paulson] is not the sole owner of the Beavers and Timbers; he has only an 80 percent stake. The man with the 20 percent stake is his father, Hammerin' Hank. If you can keep the bile out of your throat for a moment, you have got to give the Paulson family credit for cheek. You can almost imagine the scene: the Paulsons sitting around the dinner table, munching on bald eagle pate, ruminating on their $700 billion credit line and saying, "What's $85 million more?""

Bald eagle pate! HA! Still he's kind of got a point...why do you need someone else's money when you got shedloads of your own? I won't pick on them though since they managed to get MLS a mention on Huffington without mentioning David Beckham.

Image courtesy of Daylife.

Jesus Walks With Chase Hilgenbrink

No jokes here, only a wish that we all had this kind of faith.

Video: Bruce on Becks

I'm sure you've read and heard 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 takes on the Becks-to-AC Milan loan thing so I'll spare you mine. Bruce Arena's is interesting and worth checking out; if he's truly this in the dark about it as the club's coach and GM you really don't have to wonder too much about who is really calling the shots out there in LA LA Land.

Video: Wallace & Gromit's Soccamatic

I never fancied Wallace for a Preston North End fan. I always suspected him a Yeovil Town supporter. I always loved this cartoon.

Kevin Hartman: Breast Man

For only $175 dollars you --and by "you" I mean you, Quavas Kirk-- can bid on one of two pink jerseys that K.C. keeper Kevin Hartman wore during the Wizards Oct. 11th match. All proceeds and then some will go to breast cancer awareness in the Kansas City area. No word on whether or not the winning bidder will receive hints and tips from Hartman on hiding those pesky roots and grey's though.

Toronto Has Problems (Just Like The Rest of Us).

Hey y'all. The CBC says that Toronto FC have problems; they may not make the playoffs and Carl Robinson might be taking off. Meanwhile the Toronto Sun says that Danny Dichio might be done like Kanye glasses. It's a sh*tuation for sure but not the end of the world.

Now John Carver wants a designated player next season or he's out of there as well. That got me thinking about the question I'm about to pose to you: would TFC be better served by spending a fat stack on a single, game-changing export or finding a way to get DeRo, Onstad and Will Johnson for the same amount of cash?

Now don't think about league rules, salary caps, allocations lists etc. because we all know that those are as flexible as allegedly under-aged Chinese gymnasts. This is all pure fantasy talk and reality could well ruin the conversation. I'm just wondering what y'all think would be better on a general level: one world-class bad-ass or two to three solid local heroes?

Photo courtesy of Chris @ Picasa.

Video: Who Is The Best Dressed Man in D.C.?

Behind The Badge asks the question that y'all already know the answer to.

Old School Soccer Gaming

You can find the damnedest things on Youtube some times. Remember back when MLS had it's own video game? Probably not unless you are aged like me. Behold the grainy, imperfect images of the intro to ESPN's MLS Extratime for PS2. As great as FIFA is it would be kind of nice if MLS still had it's own game.

Video: A Lesson in Improvisational Victory Dance

Check my man out. Dude is feeling the full effect of a cacophonous mix of Highland pipes and random percussion mixed with that special feeling that only being 3 points closer to playoff glory can provide. There is also the possibility --however remote-- that he's also feeling the effects of that sweet, sweet stadium brew that they hand deliver to your seats at RFK stadium. Bless him though because he may be a rich man one day; you never know when they'll start filming that sequel to Napolean Dynamite.

Part of the Weekend Never Dies

The clip above is the trailer for Soulwax/2 Many DJ's recently-released rockumentary. I think it has officially surpassed Depeche Mode's classic film "101", which set the standard for dance music road flicks back in 1989, and will be the reigning champion of the medium until Justice slays us all with "A Cross The Universe" next month. Not exactly a long tenure at the top but hey, it beats relegation.

Since Friday I have watched this movie 3 times and my eyes now have a permanent twitch from the ever-present strobe light. Perhaps that is what Soulwax/2 Many DJ's meant when they named the film "Part of the Weekend Never Dies".

If you're interested you can watch it in it's sweaty, chaotic entirety by clicking on the link in the column to the right entitled "Part of the Weekend Never Dies". If you are in the NY area the band will be premiering the film at their mega-gig at Irving Plaza on Friday Oct. 24th where they will play live as Soulwax and hit the decks as 2 Many DJ's. What happens in between? Just some guy called Pete Tong will be DJing and some dirty rock dudes called Scars on Broadway that are also in a tiny little band called System of Down. Nothing special.

5 Burning Questions: Single Table & Mis-Designated Players

ESPN rolls deep into message board territory with their most recent installment of 5 Burning Questions. Single table is always a good topic to get the fur flying and "Who's the best DP?" is quickly becoming the new "When will Kansas City move?". And as for an answer to the DP question, I would agree with Kyle Martino that Schelotto has rocked it like a hurricane...too bad he's not a DP, he'd run away with the title.

SI on Huckerby, Rojas, McBride and Jaqua

"Burly" is not the word that I would use to describe San Jose's British bad-ass Darren Huckerby. Soccer America's Ridge Mahoney would though. For me that word brings visions of TAD to mind, not those of a quick-moving soccer player. Personally I would terms like "prolific", "fiery" and "tragically surnamed" but I didn't write this piece for SI.com on Major League Soccer's "game-changing" newcomers so my choice of words is irrelevant.

On the other hand Huck's contribution to the Earthquakes is far from irrelevant. Dude was brought in mid-season and suddenly the expansion side was on a nine-game unbeaten streak. You can say what you want about him being work-a-day and a journeyman but you can't deny that anyone who can jump into an unfamiliar team --and league-- and drop a half-dozen in the back of the net in only 13 games is not a killer.

There's also a few words about RBNY's Jorge Rojas, Macca and Nate Jaqua although calling the later two "newcomers" is somewhat inaccurate. Macca we can call returning hero. As for Jaqua I think the term "prodigal son" might be in order.

Video: Best Goal This Week Not Scored By a Keeper

I feel bad for RSL's Will Johnson. Dude scored a cracker on Saturday that is quite simply one of the most skillful goals you will see all season regardless of league. Yet he won't even win Goal of the Week because of Danny Cepero's freakish feat. And to top it of Max Bretos referred to him as "the little Canadian" after scored; can't a kid get a break?

Glasvegas: Footie, Crap Dads, and Social Workers

Have you checked out Glasvegas yet? It's not for everybody but if you're down with olde, dreary British bands like Jesus & Mary Chain and Echo & The Bunnymen and pre-Joshua Tree U2 you might feel these guys (and girl). It's sort of like Editors but with all of their indie-disco ambitions thrown in the bin.

As the name might portend, they are out of Glasgow and are purported to be massive Celtic fans so I like them. Loads. It also helps their cause that singer-guitarist and chief maudlin MF James Allan has played for Queens Park Rangers and Falkirk & Gretna of the SPL; perhaps his time on the pitch is what led him to write the darkly soaring 'Flowers & Football Tops', a song about the Hillsborough Stadium disaster written from a parents perspective.

Check them out on Myspace if you get a chance as there's loads of tracks that you can check out without dropping a dime. Also check out the live performance of new single 'Geraldine' above and the video for the I-grew-up-with-an-absentee-father singalong anthem 'Daddy's Gone' below; this is pretty much what passes for 'Dear Mama' if you come from the Clyde.

Bumpy Pitch Limited Edition Tees: Get 'Em Before They're Gone

That new Bumpy Pitch ish is out. It's only a 100 piece, limited edition run so you better not sleep or you'll be left out like me when I was the fat kid at the dodgeball game. Do you know that I still want to cry about that to my therapist?

Order it exclusively from BumpyPitch.com.

Mo Edu-ed FIFA 09 Gets Better Review Than Gigli

At your local game store FIFA 09 my not be in yet, but the review from IGN is. What's the word? She's a banger allegedly. The kings of gaming reviews say it's "the tightest gameplay that we've seen from the series." Additionally they give loads of respect to the Be A Pro mode and say that "the feature set is there, the visuals are as sparkling as ever and the finer points of the game are finally starting to round-out the FIFA package."

You can read the full review here. PES is now on the clock.

Video: Kyle Beckerman on Braveheart

Get up close and personal with The Great Unwashed. Better than Dorf on Golf for certain.

Ruud Gullit May Have a Shelf Full of JFK Conspiracy Books

Ruud Gullit is on some X-Files sh*t right now. He thinks 'the truth is out there' and that the powers that be at Major League Soccer don't really want David, or the sport to succeed in America. I won't even try to understand this but will instead point you to one of my favorite bloggers, Bill Archer. He does this one so much better than I could.

Video: Smyth and Hislop on US v. T&T

The newly re-tooled Yanks are heading down to T&T for Wednesday's next WCQ match. Hear what a bald man with an accent and a man with crazy eyes and an accent have to say about it. Do you want to know what I have to say about it? Who cares, I'm a nobody on Blogspot.

FIFA 09 Is About to Drop...You Ready?

It's Columbus Day today but tomorrow is the real holiday. FIFA 09 comes out on Tuesday so start that hacking cough right about now; it's always good to plant the seed of onrushing illness before calling in sick.

In-Home Pub: This Will Save Your Marriage

Attention drunks with money: if you have a propensity for consuming libations upon rustic furniture in Gaelic-themed establishments, I have found the best way ever for you to practice your love of alcoholic excess without leaving your home. That is if you have a quarter-million dollars to spare.

For a mere $250,000 Neiman Marcus and RiRa Pubs "will design a fully functional, traditional Irish pub and build it in your home." In addition to building you your own boozer complete with "historic Irish architectural elements and authentic Guinness artifacts", the cost includes a VIP trip for two to Dublin, Ireland with first class air, luxury hotel, and a tour of the St. James's Gate brewery. They'll also include a one-year supply of Guinness thrown in to get your bar started right. Natch.

Best. Christmas. Gift. Ever.

Who The Hell Does Marvell Wynne Think He Is?

Marvell Wynne's sex is on fire y'all. I know he's capable of being a donkey on defense at times but the thing that's blazin' about him right now is his recently acquired penchant for consistent displays of offensive outrageousness rarely seen from men at the back. If you haven't been following TFC as of late here's a recap of some his most recent exploits.

This week in Dallas: as the announcer said, speed kills. So does a nice chip.



Last week in New York: again, dude was running with the pace of a man who was being chased from his lover's bed by her visibly upset and armed husband. He capped off his 'cuckold's sprint' with an assist so clinical I would encourage him to apply to nursing school.



Two weeks ago versus Houston: dude drops the long bomb after a few cuts and stutters. Who does Marvell Wynne think he is?

I Love Lovers

After several emails with the individual in question and several others who were there in addition to myself, it has been suggested that we heard wrong and I've taken down the "I Hate Haters" post; I'd hope someone would give me the benefit of the doubt in such a situation so it would be hypocritical of me to not do the same. It was not my intent to portray anyone as something they aren't, especially a U.S. supporter as we have enough divisions among on us.

My apologies. Perhaps we'll cheer on the side in 2010 with better communication.

This is What is Missing From Today's MLS

Where is this type of player? One that is magic on the field and ballin' out of control off of it. Where is the player with enough swagger and personality to pull off a white tux and top hat at an awards ceremony? Where is the red-carpet rocker who's pulling scandalous tattooed trim? Where is the player with near-mythical expressions of love for the fans? Who's rocking a Biggie shirt for the papps at the club after the game? Where is the "pop" player who's name is not Beckham?

We used to have one. Remember how much fun it was when Cleetus ruled the world? I'm telling you we need a super hero socialite. Help us Sacha Kljestan, you're our only hope.

Suze Orman Can't Defend: Jeff Agoos on Money

Tired of listening to every financial consultant under the sun parroting on & on about how monumentally screwed we all are on CNN? So am I. Partially because it's true and really, really scary and partially because I'd rather distract myself by listening to Jeff Agoos tell me about capitalism and soccer.

Video: 5 Burning Questions

Feel free to agree or disagree with Johnny Harkes on the following:

D.C. United 2008 = A Bust
U.S. v. Cuba = 80's Babies on parade
Rio Tinto field = "almost Wembley condition"
Designated Players = It could go either way
Chelsea = Team to beat

Video: Something For The Weekend

As I understand it there are many people who like English football. In an effort to appease those folks and not have to actually write about it myself (because there are 236 other people already blogging about it) I'm posting this week's edition of Something for the Weekend. Enjoy.

Freddy Adu Returns to Scene of the Crime

The Biggest Midget in the Game™ goes back where Freddymania all started while the San Fancisco Gate rides shotgun.

Sky Sports on the San Jose - Tottenham Lovefest.

The best bit from Sky Sports' piece on San Jose's transcontinental mutual back rub with Tottenham Hotspur:

"Earthquakes will benefit from the training and coaching models of Tottenham, who currently sit bottom of the Premier League."

Michael Enfield and Australia's MLS Lost Boys

Over a year TOR posed the question "Who the f*ck is Michael Enfield?". Today I saw some halfway-executed story about him on SI.com and found myself once again muttering aloud "Who the fuck is Michael Enfield?" For someone who ain't sh*t he sure gets a lot of ink.

Mo Edu Talks To the New York Times, George Bush Doesn't

Jeffrey Marcus of the new York Times Goal blog recently spoke with former MLS Rookie of the Year and current Glasgow Ranger Maurice Edu about what's really going on. He has some cliched things to say (“Every day, you’re really grinding, competing for your position”) but they're probably cliche because they're true.

E-Dude is in country for the U.S. Men's World Cup Qualifier against whatever Cubans haven't defected yet. You should watch it. Better yet you should go to it. I'll be there with a jar of corn whiskey...come say "hi".

No Room at Rio Tinto Stadium Inn

Remember when the iPhone first came out and you couldn't get one even if you quite literally camped out and queued for hours. It's just like that...and I love it. LOVE. IT. There are few things better for selling a product (read: putting asses in seats) than having an aire of scarcity and exclusivity around it.

The only thing that would make it any better would be if they had some waifish, snobby chick at the door with a velvet rope and a clipboard asking people "And who are you with?" before arrogantly denying them entry because of their attire.

Michael Bradley is a Son of a Soccer Mom

Steven Goff took advantage of the Nats being in the Beltway region to take young Michael Bradley to his first go-go concert catch up with young Michael Bradley and chat about what it was like to grow up in that family. Good stuff from the nation's Minister of Soccer Propaganda.

Video: John Cleese Explains This Blog

I thought about getting GolTV again when Jozy got picked up by Villarreal but decided against it. And since he's not getting any playing time I'm OK with that decision. But now that they have picked up John Cleese's The Art of Football for the U.S. market I just might break down and get it. And you should too because I couldn't ever be this funny.

H/T to The Gaffer for the find.

Raining Reminders

Oh yeah, there is another game on tonight that's not RBNY at RSL. D.C. United are down in Costa Rica to play Saprissa at 10pm on FSC in the CONCACAF Champions League. Godspeed you men in black.

Video: Columbus Til I Die (Not Me But Other People)

Great video of the Ohio Playas. Keep it going boys & girls...this could be your year.

Shouts to D for the heads up on the clip.

MLS Miami Would Be Good for My Mojito Consumption

I just read this thing in the Miami Herald about how "Welcome MLS" was splashed across the Jumbotron at FIU's football practice on Tuesday. I guess the powers that be are all kinds of for real about returning to Miami with Barcelona in tow, in particular to FIU's bizarre new stadium.

Perhaps you've seen photos of the stadium before, like the one above? It's being built by MLS' SSS go-to guys Rossetti Architects with a much smaller stand on one side. Apparently they retract back and forth for soccer and football. They are building it in stages so it'll look better once completed in 2011 but at 45K capacity it might be a bit much for soccer. Interesting stuff; could Miami really be back like that?

The Thursday Night Hype: Rio Tinto Coming Out Party Edition

As I watch this clip of last night's broadcast from the ABC's news affiliate in Salt Lake City, all I can really hear in my head is Smashing Pumpkins' Billy Corgan straining out the chorus from his 1996 hit "Tonight, Tonight".

Even if you could give a damn about RSL or RBNY's playoff chances you really should consider getting stuck into tonight's MLS Primetime match on ESPN2 (10pm EST) just for the pure spectacle of it. Built with sight lines and broadcasters in mind, tonight game will feature 10-11 cameras shooting the flyovers, fireworks and assorted bells and whistles that will accompany such a crucial and emotional match.

2 bits of footie-nerd trivia for you. The first is that this is the third time that The Club Formerly Known As Metro has opened someone else's house (they were the first men on the moon in Dallas and Chicago...always the bridesmaids). The second is that RSL has still never been able to defeat RBNY -- but something tells me that unfortunately for me tonight might be their night.

Video: Kickin' It With Allen Hopkins

How messed up will it be if Landon Donovan breaks 20 goals and snags the Golden Boot this year while not making the playoffs?

This Just In: San Jose to Partner with Tottenham Hotspur

I'm starting to feel like European clubs are picking MLS clubs to partner with as part of some sort of soccer homesteading scheme. You know, claim some territory in the New World before your neighbor does...that type of thing. Chelsea have The Galaxy, FC Dallas is the Lucky Pierre with Tigres & Atletico Paranese, Arsenal are locked up in love for days with Colorado, Red Bull are but aren't mobbed up with their Austrian cousin in Salzburg, Chivas USA is the stepchild of Chivas Guadalajara and Real Salt Lake are down like clowns with Real Madrid.

Today we're hearing that the brand-new MLS old-schoolers, San Jose Earthquakes, have a presser scheduled at 2pm tomorrow to announce a partnership with Tottenham. No details yet but that is random, random, random. If it ends in Gio Dos Santos playing in NorCal in the summer though (which I know full well it won't) it's a smash.

Morrissey Breaks Up Will Chivas USA, Gets All Cockney

I just read this article in some old UK rag --The Sun to be precise-- about how "Morrissey is "obsessed with Millwall and it's culture." He's even alleged to have been spotted swanning around Los Angeles in replica kit with "Mobster" written where a name should be.

That's cool and all but wasn't it just last year that he was wearing Chivas gear onstage and going to Chivas USA matches at the HDC? And the year before that he was all about West Ham-ing it up? Dude is about as loyal as his options; he's _____ 'til he dies I guess.

Photo of the Day: DCU's Khumalo Takes Drastic Steps to Rectify His Poor Choice in Hairstyles

That's D.C. United's Thabiso Khumalo doing some sightseeing in Costa Rica courtesy of Behind The Badge. For his sake I hope this isn't a taster of what's to come tonight when United face the evil purple dragon that is Saprissa tomorrow on FSC (10pm EST). With neither Fred, Gallardo, Moreno or Emilio available though it does have a damn good chance of getting "head bitten of by prehistoric reptile"-ugly.

K.C. Fans Saving One Piece of Misguided Eurotrash at a Time

Hillcrest Road hipped me to this great piece in Kansas City's Ink Magazine about The Cauldron. Basically the writer is a Eurosnob who embed's himself with K.C.'s realest supporters and to his surprise gets his box rocked (as it should be). If only there were enough supporters groups, we could save them all....

Toronto FC Gaffer Is Quite a Needy Fellow

Toronto FC's head man wants a designated player for the 2009 or he wants out. Dude says "the club is aware of it, the management is aware of it, the fans are certainly aware of it, and we have to do it, because if we don't, I will definitely, definitely go home. No buts about it." Kinda crazy or is it just me?

He said that to the CBC. Personally I'm not sold that making threats to management and fans to leave the club if you don't get your way is the most effective means of endearing yourself to them but hey, I'm a lover not a fighter. I'm also not convinced that a designated player will light your way to the promised land of better results on the pitch and on the accounting ledger's. Claudio Lopez seems to be a likeable chap and a good player, but has he impacted K.C. in any real way? And do I even need to bring up the other Claudio?

Perhaps he should read Goal.com's bit today about designated players, within which he will find that the best clubs of the past two seasons --the first two years of play with the DPR in place-- are all getting it done without a big-name attraction.

Don't get me wrong; I think TFC and everyone else in the league should have designated players and I think that my fellow fans want to see that as well. I just don't think that it's something you should stake your job on especially considering that you leaving would cause the inevitable roster upheaval that typically accompanies any regime change in this league; if part your reasoning is to reward the fans for their loyalty, abandoning your post and leaving the club to rebuild anew is quite the opposite of a reward. It is also the opposite of the consistency that Houston, New England and (to a lesser degree) Columbus have displayed as the secret to their success.

By The Time I Get To Arizona: Pachuca USA?

The only Arizona-related news I expected to read this moring was perhaps John McCain debate post-mortem. I certainly, definitely did not expect to find that FMF rippers Pachuca are exploring the possibilty of creating an Arizona outpost of the Hidalgo-based franchise. According to the Arizona Republic the club is also considering San Francisco and San Antonio as homes for a USL-1 expansion team but club officials may announce Arizona as the final choice tonight at an event at the oh-so-bigtime Peppe's Pizza on S. Central Ave in Mesa. How official.

Get Your Drink On & Attend Extra Time Taping in NYC!

I'm encouraging all Red Bull fans to take in this Thursday's massive match vs. Real Salt Lake at Nevada Smith's in Manhattan. MLSnet's Extra Time hosts Greg Lalas and Shep Messing will be taping this week’s show live from the Red Bulls viewing party downstairs. I'd recommend showing up a little before 9pm when they'll begin filming segments for the show. Then at halftime they’ll tape a special segment where Shep & Greg will take questions from the crowd.

And if that wasn't enough reason to get you to go there will be the prerequisite drink specials as well. The final show will air on MLSnet.com on Friday October10th. Come through if you can.

Video: The Nats in D.C.

About 10 of the cats called into camp ahead of Saturday's tie with Fidel's Fellows by Bobby Bradley have arrived in D.C. and have begun training. A couple of the guys including Landon, Ching and Frankie "Joe Six-Pack" Hejduk gave U.S. Soccer a few words on match preparation, their love of the savvy fans and the great grass at RFK. And to be clear that's the grass on the field. Not the grass that the guy that used to be the drummer in E.U. sells around the back of the bus parking area.

NSR: Justice Are in No Way Safe For Work. Unless You Work in a Really Messed Up Disco.

If you've been dipping into TOR for a while you know I have a thing for the heavy-metal house music of Justice. Dudes kill it on wax and on stage in a way that only another notorious French dance duo can. Sh*t, I still have blisters on my feet from the VMA after party they threw at Beauty Bar in Vegas last year. That's not an indictment of my poor footcare, but an affirmation of just how intense they are.

And intense is a good word to describe the trailer above (nicked from The Original Winger) for their upcoming DVD tour film and live album "A † The Universe" which looks as raw as their sound. If that one is too much for you, you can watch a different blood & boobs-free trailer here. And if you need more electro-mentaries in your life, might I recommend Soulwax's "Part of the Weekend Never Dies". Just as bananas except it's Belgian.

Kyle Beckerman on Stadia

The Rio Tinto Stadium countdown rolls on this morning. Today we've got The Great Unwashed himself, Kyle Beckerman, giving the run down on each MLS stadium from a players perspective. Not surprisingly he's more concerned with playing surfaces than with roofs, stages and all of the other design elements that we fans can (and do) spend days discussing ad nauseum.

It's also not a surprise that he thinks his club's new house is the best in the league. And until Red Bull Arena opens it's doors and makes everyone else feel like Miller Lite on a Moët night, this all-seater also gets my vote as the number one stunna. But it seems that a lot of people that commented on this story aren't as enamored with RTS as us though. Haters, haters everywhere.

Ooooh Revs Want The Cup! Gotta Have That Cup!

Dudes, Taylor Twellman wants the cup. He's even done a confessional video (along with Shalrie Joseph and Stevie Ralston) laying out exactly how bad he needs it. I say give it to him, why not? I mean the way my club is playing right now they've got about the same odds of winning as a tranny has of going unnoticed at Ronaldo's house. Columbus should by all rights win it but bad things tend to happen to good people. LA winning it would be the best thing for all of us but let's not talk crazy. And Houston are pretty much good on cups until the next election cycle.

So give it to Taylor. When he's been on the field, his sex has definitely been on fire (7 goals in only 13 appearances this season) so it would be nice if he had something to show for it. And quite frankly the last year has been hard and we'd hate to see a repeat of the wholly make-up yet tragic events that occurred following the 2007 campaign.

T Minus 4: Rio Tinto Stadium Countdown Has Begun

With less than 4 days to go until another MLS side gets it's sweet little ass out of a faux-grassed enormodrome and into it's own appropriately sized, revenue-generating home. So it's Rio Tinto Stadium week with Real Salt Lake being the lucky ladies this time; they'll be walked down the isle by RBNY on MLS Primetime Thursday and it's going be wild times. Well, it'll be what passes for wild in Utah.

With New York lacking 3 starters due to national team duties and what's sure to be a capacity, raucous crowd (or what passes for raucous in Salt Lake City) RSL looks to be the greatest lock for 3 points since Larry Bird left the N.B.A. Everyone is super-stoked, from the players to the fans and especially the local papers, who will be giving this opening major love throughout the week. I can only hope that Red Bull Arena's opening will be as successful in cutting through the static of the New York news cycle.

Be sure to click on the fancy image above nicked from the Salt lake Tribune.

"What You Need Is a Job. J.O.B."

Hey young folks. Do you know a little something about Facebook, Myspace and other site's that help you get to know way too much about way too many people? Are you intimately familiar with CSS (the stylesheet language , not the Brazilian band). Do you know MLS?

If you can say 'yes' to the above, are in the NYC area and want an internship, MLS might have something for you. They're looking for 2 interns to work on their social media initiatives and do other things that won't net you a paycheck. Get stuck in here and here.

Video: Red Bull Str33t Style

So I spent my weekend obsessing over this new (to me at least) German video site called Hobnox. Broadcast quality video coupled with great community features and something called Audiotool that let's you create your own music using emulators of vintage synths & drum machines. Simply brilliant.

Anyway, there wasn't much in the way of footie on there but I did find this one video of Red Bull's Str33t Style qualifier in Berlin and the championship event in Sao Paolo. They did one of these in New York a few years back and I hope they revisit the idea around the time of Red Bull Arena's opening; it's a great promotional vehicle for the brand and ultimately, the club.

Now if you are not a fan of techno-pop, walk away from this post now. Seriously, go now. This is only for those who are unafraid of the dance floor and understand that a few well placed, strobe-lit gyrations and thrusts can often gain you the attentions of members of the oppposite sex.

So with that I give you 18 minutes of Zoot Woman.

Once You Go Brazilian Left Winger, You Never Go Back

So I just read something on the internet --and since it's on the internet it has to be true-- that FC Dallas made an offer to Bayern Munich's Zé Roberto. I'm not comparing the two but didn't they learn their lesson last time they signed a Brazilian international left-winger?

And speaking of the Denilson Disaster™, here's something to chew on. Dude scored only once (on a PK if I recall correctly) in 8 appearance for FC Dallas; he's now at Palmeiras in Brazil on a single-season, performance-based contract and so far this season he has scored 7 times in 9 appearances. You can't tell me that singing for your supper doesn't work folks.

Video: Q-Tip + Adidas = O.K. Advert

And speaking of commercials check out this random Adidas ad. I've never seen it on the telly but it's got "Award Tour" from A Tribe Called Quest in it so it should probably receive an award of some kind.

Video: Colorado Rapids Get "Rise" from New Ad

In an effort to give equal time to both sides of the Rocky Mountain rivalry, here's Colorado's new Flobots-enhanced advert. Have you heard Flobots? They're a bunch a agit-hippies from Denver that had the song "Handlebars" out a while back; you might like them. I hear they have a tour bus made entirely of hemp and vinyl recycled from old Spearhead records that runs on a mix of patchouli oil & stale Fat Tire.

Video: Rio Tinto Stadium Tour

A bit of Friday stadium porn to get you through the afternoon. Real Salt Lake President Bill Manning took KSL TV's Sports Director Tom Kirkland on a walking tour of Rio Tinto Stadium the other day which resulted in the clip above. I'm going to start lobbying NOW to get an invite into team owner Dave Checketts' baller-ass suite; that would be one hell of a porch to sip a whiskey & lemonade on.

This Is How You Tailgate

Our man Thomas Binkley hipped me to this bit on Jalopnik about the ultimate tailgate vehicles. My Ford Focus and VW Passat Wagon do not make the cut but they've been pretty good to me so far. As long as I have trunk space for PUGG's, a ball, a cooler, and a coupla chairs I'm good. But that truck up top would be awesome; I could dole out brisket in lot 16A like some kind of BBQ Jesus.

NSR: The Trouble is Love Don't Want You

Common Market is a hip hop duo out of Seattle that KRS-One has been co-signing on for a minute now. Not really the typical sound of the Black Box (a.k.a. my iPhone) but their single "Trouble Is" is getting heavy rotation right now. If you want to really get the full effect of this highly narrative video, I recommend watching it in HD.

Hear Me Now Bob Bradley: No Cooper, No Peace.

Brian Ching gets another call while Kenny Cooper gets voice mail once again. Looks like I'm ordering him a gift certificate from Lids.com for Christmas; apparently this is the only way he'll get a cap this year.

Image courtesy of Project 2010.

Newcastle's Joe Kinnear Don't Give a F*ck.

In truth he gives 52 of them and throws in a pair of "C U Next Tuesday"'s in there for good measure. Classy son of a bitch, wouldn't you say?

RBNY, TFC in Saturday Morning Cartoon Matchup

Toronto FC will roll their Canuckistani soccer extravaganza down to the Meadowlands tomorrow to face off against Red Bull New York in a Battle of Bubble. There's a good chance one of these two will make the playoffs but probably not both. Obviously I am biased toward the New York side but surely NY's attack out weighs TFC's by a mile. But then again our defense is as porous as Edward James Olmos' cheeks.

And as you can see there will also be all manner of aliases and handles on full display for our nicknaming pleasure. El Zurdo ("Lefty"), El Lobo ("The Wolf"), The Bear (Jon Conway), Goldie (Kevin Goldthwaite), El Pescadito ("The Little Fish" Carlos Ruiz) and the Staten Island Maradona (John Wolyneic) will all be in the house making this look more like a throwdown between the Justice League & the Legion of Doom than a soccer match. I doubt anyone will wear tights with underwear over the top, but don't be shocked if Ruiz's ego walks in wearing a cape.

Video: LA To Give it the Ol' College Try in Buckeye Land

How cute. LA think they have a shot against the now-mighty Columbus Saturday at Crew Stadium. There a bunch of scrappy 'lil guys aren't they? Bless their little deluded hearts.

UPDATE: Tattoo Photos from the Grassroots Soccer Celebrity Match

See that illustrated thigh above? It belongs to Frank LeBoeuf and was snapped at Ethan Zohn's Grassroots Soccer celebrity game this afternoon. I asked him what it was and he said it was Archimedes Ramesses II or something like that but I just kept staring at it thinking "that looks like an Alien". Good guy though, that Frank.



Then I noticed that Alexi Lalas had some ink on his ankle. It's a black "A" with a red heart as the cross bar. I didn't get a chance to ask him about the meaning but my our uniformed guess was that he heart's himself. Then I got to chatting with him at the after-party at Marquee and he told me how it was something he made up in collage, like a personal family crest. Hey, it beats having one of the typical collegiate body art disasters like Taz or a Disney character.

In Pictures: Grassroots Soccer vs. Hollywood United

Hello new soccer nation. I'm just back from a long lunch down in NYC's Chinatown and it wasn't for the dim sum. Ethan Zohn's Grassroots Soccer held it's inaugural celebrity game at Sara D. Rooseveldt park on Grand St. this afternoon and it was such a good time. All manner of soccerati were there to play ball, shoot the shit (read: trash talk) and eat tacos (more on that later). Here's what I can remember and few visual aids.



That's Hollywood United honcho and TV star Anthony LaPaglia in the green. He's kinda like the O.G. when it comes to LA celebrity soccer glory and he's not a bad keeper at all. I do question his smoking a half-pack of cigarettes before taking the field but hey, I'm not here to judge.



I got to see Youri Djorkaeff (and Kyle Martino) take the field one last time and I have to say I got a little teary and whatnot with memories of his only season in a Metrostars jersey. The man is still sublime. I can also report that he still remains French.



And the French were everywhere. I swear to God that at one point I thought it was fashion week. Frank LeBoeuf was out there doing his thing in the midfield because he can't be arsed to play in the back anymore and chase attackers. I can't blame him as he's retired and we're lucky that he's not in Boca Raton or something; I'm just happy to see him play.



True story. This photo was taken as Frank was dancing to Depeche Mode's "Personal Jesus" at half-time. Then this dude just came up and grabbed him by the arm for an autograph, to which LeBoeuf replied "Oui".



At first I was thinking "I had no idea [Saturday Night Live alumni] Tim Meadows played soccer". Then I realized it was yet another Frenchman, tennis great Yannick Noah.



Leslie Osborne and Heather O'Reilly came through to represent for the ladies and sho 'nuff woke the whole spot up. From my non-soccer playing view Heather was the best player on the field. For reals.



The Original Winger crew was in the area on a whistle-stop tour of the east coast. That's Dunny (a.k.a 10-year MLS vet, former Olympic team captain and FSC analyst Brian Dunseth) acting the fool.



And this is his partner Beans (a.k.a Bumpy Pitch's Ben Hooper) spreading peace, blessings and sly Californian humor all throughout lower Manhattan. He's supposed to tell me a story about a midget later tonight that I hope will be worth the price of admission to tonight's event at Marquee.



I know I already shouted out Greg Lalas today but I have to big him up once more. He was wearing a "Made in Detroit" t-shirt from 90's techno icons Underground Resistance and his stock is now through the roof with me.



One of the event sponsors was Chipotle. I love Chipotle. I ate my weight in Chipotle.



Former Scotland international Richard Gough was in the house. Remember when this guy was playing for Glasgow Rangers in the winter and MLS (with K.C. and San Jose) in the summers?



This is incredible. That's Brandon Routh who played Superman in Superman Returns...in the Superman pose! It's kinda awesome that he was just doing it on his own without prompt. It's like seeing a Parisian bar fight and realizing that's Zidane who just head butted someone.



Then he flew off to that weird planet with all the ice and crystals and stuff that he lives on and we were all just like "f*ck, that's crazy". But then we were all like "meh" and watched Youri and Yannick (the French Connection) almost connect on a far post banger. Only in New York.