Move Over Dema: New Dallas Coach is MLS Hardest Man

Let's say you've consumed a party ball full of the finest light American beer available at your local Piggly Wiggly in the parking lot before an FC Dallas match that the team has lost badly. You're so mad that you've threatened bodily harm to everyone in the organization from the owner down to the kid running the nacho stand (he's stingy with the jalapeño's). While I won't condone or recommend you taking out your anger in a physical manner against anyone associated with FC Dallas or any other team I will offer one bit of advice.

Under no circumstances do you f*ck with new coach Schellas Hyndman. He is a 10th degree black belt. You will die.

Watch seconds :17- :35 of the clip above and you'll see why. Any man that can take a pair of kicks to the sack from a size 11 and not even pucker his corn hole is as hard as Chuck Norris after snorting his weight in Viagra. That or he's been watching "Drillbit Taylor" alot. My only question is "can he make his back line this tough"?

And you can make all the Combat Ki/Cobra Ki jokes you want, but don't come crying to me when you end up watching MLS Cup from a hospital bed because you made Coach Hyndman bring the pain.