5.23.2008

Soccer is Soooooo In Right Now

Each

I come to you this morning with a heavy heart. But I come to you with good news. I come to you to tell you that the secret is out and soccer, as a niche sport in America, is over. It is no longer 'our little secret'. With Abel Xavier all over TMZ,and every basketball player this side of West 4th St. trying to be the next Messi comes word that a few of the New England Patriots --most prominently Randy Moss-- are trying to better their football game by bettering their futbol game.

I tell you again boys & girls, you who have been down for so long, it's over.
Reading this article felt exactly like the moment you saw the jock-rocking school bully wearing a Nirvana shirt; it was cool that they were getting an audience, but you kinda knew that audience wouldn't have the same exuberence for "Floyd the Barber" as it did for "Smells Like Teen Spirit".

And for what it's worth, if I'm Bob Kraft I would glady offer private training with the Revs for any interested Pats players, in exchange for the Pats teaching the Revs how to leave a championship game with a hat on thier heads.

5 comments:

chris said...

You do realize those hats are for the Pats 19-0 season that didn't happen this past year? They make stuff for each team, and the losers stuff gets sent to some charity in Africa.

Of course, the world and the internet being what they are, sending stuff like this to Africa is no longer equivalent to making it disappear.

Anyway, advice from Randy Moss on winning the big game is no better than advice from Twellman (though Twellman has a US Open Cup, I saw it with my own eyes).

The Manly Ferry said...

THANK YOU. Bleach was just a better album than Nevermind.

Anonymous said...

yea i remember seeing this on one of those special sunday ESPN sportscenters... they showed that the 19-0 pats superbowl champs t-shirts given out were used as a girls youth soccer team and they won their league or somthin...pretty good story...

Dillon said...

Where did you get that sweet picture from?

Anonymous said...

"Each one, teach one." Isn't that the name of a Groundation CD. They are amazing by the way!!