TOR Exclusive: Wally's World

I made a collect call (because I am ghetto like that) to FC Dallas and tried to get Big Kenny Cooper on the phone about a potentially lucrative business venture. For some reason they wouldn't let me talk to him, but they would give me Anthony Wallace, FC Dallas' U-20 & U-23 starlet. Before he threatened to school me on the pitch -which he could do with ease- we talked teammates, fistfights, and learning foreign languages in attempt to lure broad's abroad. Oh yeah, and Biggie.

What's good Anthony? Where are you right now?
Not too much. Right now I’m at the FC Dallas training facility just hanging out, about to head home.

How have you spent your off-season?
Off season was pretty boring. I spent that with the family in Florida. I was pretty much home the whole time, a couple of trips, hanging out. I went to Argentina (U-20 camp in November), and then I had a camp in Florida (U-23’s in January). Those were pretty fun, especially Argentina…almost got killed…(laughing) but I can’t go into too much detail about that.

Potential death is always a hoot. Speaking of the U-20's, you are one of the fabled "80's Babies" who wrecked shop at the U-20's this past summer. How was it for you?
80’s baby??? I guess I’m kind of lucky on that, I was born in 89 so I didn’t get to spend too much time in the 80’s but I guess it’s OK if you want to give me that title. That was a great experience, to play in a World Cup, especially at my age, being a lot younger than a lot of the competition…that was pretty fun.

For your money, which member of the U-20's not named Anthony Wallace has got the most game?
The most game in what? We played some basketball in camp and the MVP’s were me and Chris Seitz. Chris Seitz has some game in basketball, I must say.

Now talking about a different kind of ballin', I understand that you went to the University of South Florida. It's a big party school right?
Yes.

Did you take any classes with this girl and if not do you know anyone there that looks like her?

I knew a couple of girls on campus that looked like her. The Sun Dolls, they’re like the dance team for basketball and football, those girls right there.

So dude I've always wondered...do Generation Adidas guys get closets full of free Adidas gear?
I wouldn’t say a full closet. I’d say maybe a half closet.

So what's the best piece of swag that you have received for being an athlete?
From my agency, I got this camcorder, that’s pretty cool.

Your bio says that you are "semi-fluent in Spanish" which you "wanted to learn in order to talk to the girls for a trip to Argentina". How'd that work out for you chief?
That worked out…not so well. I only knew simple stuff like “hola”, “como esta”…things like that. I know a lot more now but I’m not a big time conversation holder yet.

Who's the toughest guy on FC Dallas to cover in training?
I’d say Kenny. That kid’s crazy! He’s big, physical, all that.

Say your team gets to scrapping on the field, which teammate would you want to have your back?
(without hesitation) Adrian Serioux. That guy is crazy! Adrian could be my bodyguard any day of the week.

(Ed. note: Good choice as any dude that brings a damn pit bull to practice probably one of the harder guys on the field.)

Now Wally don't take this as hateration but I'm just gonna throw this out there...for a Brooklyn-born boy your Biggie tribute needs some serious work. Are you a hip hop fan?
Let’s hear your Biggie tribute! What are you talking about?!?! I am a hip-hop fan. Even though my Biggie tribute was not that wild, come see me on the soccer field, SF…with your code name, I see how it is.

Dude you'd house me...I'm so fat and old that I wouldn't last 10 minutes before I keeled over. And I soooo can't rap. Here's one last question,..do you think you can tell Big Kenny to holler at me...I think I can get him an endorsement deal from a neck bolts company.

You’re gonna have to get with Kenny on that one. I can’t help you out on that, since you wanna talk about my Biggie tribute.

Awww damn dog! I'm trying to get him paid!