It's official: Grown Ass Man Links Up With Duece & Co.


Our man Ives has done it again; the only person to get more scoop than him is the ice cream man. He's reporting that Eddie "Grown Ass Man" Johnson is officially joining the US soccer posse-cut that is Fulham FC.

It's so beautifully absurd isn't it? There may be more yanks at Craven Cottage now than there will be yanks in the DC United starting XI this season (if all the reports of off-season South American signings come true). And just to make it even more unlikely three of them are attacking players, so start stocking up on canned goods and shotguns because the end of the world may well be upon us.

There are so many questions here. Who's going to be the first writer to cash in and compose "An American Tale: The Unauthorized Story of Fulham's Yanks?" When will club owner Mohamed Al Fayed fuck around and open a Cheesecake Factory in the back of Harrod's? And how will London survive the relentless tornado of swagger that is the Dempsey-Johnson combo?


Adam said...

did Ives get the scoop or was he the first to read it off the Fulham Website? with a matter of minutes seperately whoever was first and all the others, I wonder if the 'scoop' even matters anymore?

blahblah said...

So is Johnson now the first EPL player with grillz from Jacob the Jewler?

Fougs said...

Hey, for the record, there is a Krispy Kreme donuts in Harrods, or there was when I was there in 2004.

I hope Fulham likes back-passes.

Arelcao Akleos said...

ArelcaoAkleos said:

Back passes, Bling, and Baffling Inconsistency. I say the odds are 2:1 EJ earns, by April, his own special "Hate Diss Yankbastard" section on the Messageboards on Fulham's website.