Middle age really hit The Beastmaster hard.
Not only does BMO Field have a problem with a team that hasn't scored a goal in 800+ minutes of play, it also has a serious sea gull infestation. I'm not sure infestation is the right word but sea gull's are basically larger, coastal versions of pigeons who are flying, feathered rats so it does seem to fit.
Apparently the potentially gruesome yet effective way to get rid of sea gulls by feeding them Alka-Seltzer is myth and the use of high-powered shotguns in front of a match day crowd is frowned upon. So the powers that be decided to get a hawk in there to do the dirty work for them, which is outstanding.
WTF y'all? Was Harvey Birdman too busy prepping for the next OJ trial to take this gig? What makes it even more special is the hawks name is "Bitchy" and according her trainer has "a bit of an attitude". And if that is the case TFC could really use her in defensive midfield role.
With the scoring drought reaching dust-bowl proportions, a bit of live Animal Planet carnage would be a welcome sideshow to keep the punters occupied; a bit of "bread & circus" never killed anyone…well except maybe for the Sabine women.
3 comments:
Ohhh how great would that be on the deuce on a Thursday night... Tyrone Marshall takes Gaven down from behind on the break.. and Bitchy swoops down and takes the Red from the hands Kevin Stott and flies off with it, only to return with a dead gull... FANTASTIC!
I'm disappointed TFC hasn't picked up the nickname "The Gulls." I would love to for them to be known as the Gulls, much like Chivas USA are the Goats.
Bitchy, classic. I can just hear the TFC chants now...
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