Summer Essentials '07

BBQing. Doubleheaders. Indiscriminate hook-ups. Wearing less. Drinking More.

Yes, yes y'all…it's finally summer and it's time for The Offside Rules Summer Essentials! TOR is officially lifting the veil on the sweaty-season and we are going to help you get turned on to a few of the hottest games, gear, gadgets, grub & whatever else we can get our dirty little mitts around. I may do a few more of these as the season goes on so if you have any suggestions, hit me up.

So let's get to it, shall we?

Essential Clothing: Hollywood United T-Shirt

Don't make big money but want to dress like it?

Put away that Abercrombie t-shirt and represent for Hollywood United, a member of Los Angeles' Olympic soccer league that boasts such names as Frank Le Beouf, Vinnie Jones, Eric Wynalda, and the Sex Pistols' Steve Jones amongst it's ranks.

Available from www.bumpypitch.com





Essential Event: Superliga

Sure we've got the Gold Cup, Copa America, the U.S. Open Cup, the World Series of Football, and the MLS season to keep us in footballing heaven for the next few months, but don't forget that theirs a new player in the game this summer with the inaugural edition of Superliga.

Pitting 8 of the best clubs from Mexico & the U.S. in a Champions League-style tournament for a cool $1 million in prize money, Superliga ups the ante (literally) for international club matches in the USA.

Tournament info available at MLSnet.


Essential Beer: Shiner Bock

This is sort of a selfish pick, but most Texans and anyone else who drinks this brilliant brew will tell you that it is the shit. Period.

Concocted at a single, small brewery not too far from Austin, Shiner Bock is damn near a lifestyle choice for some people; I for one have been known to fly to the east coast from down south with a case of the stuff tucked into the overhead compartment just to get it north of the Mason-Dixon line. It's that good.

Sadly, northeasterners will have to just drink Yuengling as they don't distribute Shiner north of Philly. Bastards.

If you want to get the scoop from the Spoetzel Brewery, visit them here.


Essential Grill: Bread Breaker Dual-Fuel Hybrid Grill

Can you imagine the looks of murderous envy
you'll get when you pull up to your next tailgate
with this fucker in the back of your truck (and you'll need one to haul this behemoth around)?

This Humvee of grills has a one-of-a-kind hybrid grilling system that uses wood, charcoal, gas, or a combination of the three to make even your burnt ribs taste flavorful. With 864 square inch main grilling area, an infrared (infrared!) rotisserie cradle system, & 154,000 BTUs you could cook a baby T-Rex on this.

If you've got a big appetite and $12K to burn, get one.


Essential Beach Gear: Beach Soccer Net

Possibly the most essential item for the summer because this will let you take your game to beach in proper fashion....no more using garbage cans for goals!

Made from super strong aluminium sections 100 x 120 mm, with welded corners, stable aluminium net hanger, and coated in yellow plastic, this goal will enable you to finally become a perfect combination of Ronaldinho and beach volleyball-Tom Cruise from Top Gun.

Ready to pony up for it? Get it here.


Essential Movie: Goal II: Living the Dream

Don't front: you saw the first one, and you'll see the second one.

This second part of the trilogy finds Santiago Munez traded from Newcastle and taking his place amongst the Galacticos at Real Madrid. A kid plucked from the Latino leagues in LA now plying his trade in La Liga you say? Hey, that's Hollywood baby!

While the film may hurt a little due to the fact that some of the players featured in the film have already moved on, it's still fun to root for the underdog (not to mention having a big-budget footie film out that has the possibility of being in theatres for more than a week).

A North American release is slated for September 14th...which is one of the last weeks that you can get away with going to the beach in a lot of the country so we're going to let this one slide in.


Essential Music: Smashing Pumpkins "Zeitgeist"

I can't begin to tell you how stoked I am about this. Maybe it's because I am a man of a certain age and I have some uncontrollable need to relive my alt-rock youth. Or maybe it's because Billy Corgan's band is still one of the smartest, and most rockin'-est endeavors going.

With a revamped line-up (which thankfully still includes Jimmy Chamberlin on drums), a world tour already under way and new album due in July I am as excited as pervert in a peepshow about this.

Download new song "Starz" recorded live last week at Germany's Rock Am Ring Festival.